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The reason seems fairly obvious…. It’s because that was a huge part of her life. You can’t just expect her to delete memories of six entire years that she went through. I’m not really sure what else you’re looking for here….? A lot of this keeps feeling like you just don’t trust her, but I don’t understand why you don’t trust her. Has she given you any reason not to?
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You don't get a uti from anal unless he went from anal penetration to vaginal. The fact of the matter is he only likes anal but he's probably scared you'll think he's gay. You need to rethink this relationship because he not only sexually assaulted you, but when you screamed in pain, he made it seem like it was your fault. He's not a nice guy and is definitely gaslighting you.
I'd probably refuse to be around the friends. That kind of toxic behavior isn't something I would willingly subject myself to. Why does your bf not say something? You've communicated to him how uncomfortable they make you, he has heard the jabs they throw your way and the inappropriate topics they bring up…..why is he allowing this? Why is he friends with people like this? Doesn't it make you question his integrity – you are the people you surround yourself with? Constantly hearing untrue things about yourself can cause mental anguish….no person is worth putting yourself through tertiary emotional trauma for.