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It's not your fault and you are not overreacting. You indicated plenty (verbally and non-verbally) that you didn't want it. He violated your boundaries and broke your trust. He is not safe to be around.
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Absolutely nothing wrong with voicing your concerns. At the end of the day your partner still communicating with their ex can be confusing for some people. That being said, it does definitely depend situation to situation too. For instance, in my last relationship I was still at a point where I was communicating with my ex, however we were nothing but good friends because we ended things years ago due to difference in lifestyles and goals and it was amicable. We never hung out together when I was with my current partner (at the time – now ex).
Don't sit on it with your thoughts. Best thing you can do if you have concerns is to voice them especially if you have trust issues. Everyone handles these kind of things differently and not having a conversation about this stuff will only make things escalate if not addressed as soon as possible 🙂