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251 thoughts on “Chlo, é ♡︎ the hot live sex chat with hottest babes with a hd cam”
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These seem like pretty superficial things to differ on. It really depends on how much importance you put into those things. If you want a partner that wants to move to the countryside, loves animals, likes to cook, and doesn't hang out in pubs, then maybe he's not for you.
If it's not a major priority, I'd say you're fine.
Thank you!
2-4 times per week is more than occasionally.
Emotionally cheating, run girl. He is disrespecting your feelings, the relationship and your boundaries. You deserve so much better than an immature boy who is still acting like he's single. Lots of love your way and if you need anything I'm here to talk??
I know where they come. If I hadnt heard/seen stories of cheating in study semesters abroad I probably wouldnt have those trust issues.
Wow, that's really unkind.
It can work. I'm an asexual and have been dating an allosexual (allo = not asexual) for three years. When we first got together I felt the same way you gf did, that I really didn't want to but i could “force” myself to for his sake if I needed to. I don't feel that way anymore. I trust him and feel completely comfortable with him and if he wanted to sleep together (we haven't yet) I'd be down, not because I really need it for myself but because I do enjoy physical intimacy and enjoy doing things that make him feel good. My best friend is asexual, and has been with her allosexual husband for 9 years, and they have a healthy sex life.
But on the other hand…your girlfriend's feelings may not change. She may love you and feel safe and comfortable with you and enjoy physical intimacy – and still never want sex. Asexuals are generally categorized as being sex replused (or averse), sex neutral, or sex positive. It sounds like your gf is repulsed/averse, and maybe that won't ever change. It's up to you to decide how you'd feel in a long term, potentially sexless relationship.
“We agreed not to sleep with anyone until we got a divorce”.
While on a break, monogamy is the rule unless otherwise specified.
Whoa stop your expectations lady Its a random question
Women have to treat all men as a potential threat to their lives most of the time. So when men ask us for our phone numbers, the safest thing to do is offer them a social media handle instead and just block or ignore and hope we never see them again. Saying no can and does end in physical violence or horrible name calling. Both in person and on-line. You can google a cellphone number and find the names of relatives, the city you live in, and earn yourself a stalker so quickly. So yeah you should def be more understanding of why she chooses this route for strange men asking for her number. And also THANK her for being honest so she doesn’t feel the need to hide it from you or anything else from you in the future
So, it's a little of both. This is going to tear down your self esteem that someone you “love” is so mean to you (and making you feel like being on eggshells is mean). You need to work on self confidence, but not at the expense of fighting a losing battle. I was in a relationship like this once and I was VERY confident at first, but the more my partner snapped on me and got short with me the slower it chipped away until I was convinced I was a terrible partner and just horrible in general. You can say “get over it” but it doesn't work like that. He actually was mad that I took things personally, which is also valid. We should not be so sensitive. So it's both. Honestly, it sounds like you two might have a lot to work on if you want this to work. First and foremost, you need to be blunt with him and tell him how this hurts you and makes you feel. It might make him explode, but if so, is that what you want in life? His reaction should give you at least a little clarity on immediate action. Stay and make it work (if he seems to genuinely care about your feelings and you also agree to work on yourself) or he blows up and you leave. Doing nothing will result in a painful toxic relationship.
By dealing drugs he's putting not only his future at risk but yours as well. If he gets busted while you're with him you could also be charged. A “great boyfriend” would not put you in that position.
Tbh I once had it so bad I was about to vomit.
And at that time I was very healthy.
Block him on everything and be done with him.
He sounds like he doesn't want you and doesn't want anyone else to have you either.
Stop engaging him, and he'll go away.
She sucks. You don’t deserve that. Sounds like she has no emotional maturity and should not be in a relationship.
You would need to describe your relationships for us to know that. Therapy is the better option.
Koala bear?
Was she manipulated or did she want to fuck this dude? Your partner is a human being capable of making her own decisions. Based on the situation you described about her being intrigued in her friends' alternative lifestyle, she was not manipulated into wanting to hook up with someone else.
Maybe just invite the husband over, so he can be there when she turns up?
Oh ok so you DaMaGeD HiS MasCuliNTy. The fact that your boyfriend told you to fuck off when you tried to talk to him says a lot. That would be enough for me to end things with him.
Its always the same pattern…
1.) Met the partner of my dreams
2.) Everything was glorious
3.) then……(fill in the blank)……happened
4a.) Now I don't know whether to stay
4b.) I'm thinking of leaving
4c.) I left…but feel guilty
4d.) I elected to become a Republican and marry my sibling.
You move on by finding a Life and making it your own. Sheesh……
So it's all on your husband is it? Sounds to me like you had your part in it too. You knew he was stressed and on edge. No he shouldn't have taken it out on you but when he apologized that's where it should have ended but YOU had to keep it going by being a right fighter. If you don't know what that means look it up. Now you want to come on here and get people to support you. Sorry Unless this is his standard behavior it should have been left go at the apology. In every long term marriage BOTH partners have off days and say things they wish they hadn't. In the over all marriage this is nothing.
That’s a stalker not a boyfriend. If he feels the need to test a partner, he isn’t mature enough or ready for a relationship.
It's not deep he's just broke
He can't afford the gas to take you on dates
Maybe you gained weight?
he says i love you to me. his love language is acts of kindness, quality time, and verbal affection, which he literally does every day (poems/reassuring words, cooking together, etc) i know i'm more than a “neighbor” but i guess i'm trying to figure out if he is still in love with ex …. their son together isn't biologically his, she's given me the cold shoulder last few times i've seen her, and he's constantly worried about her feelings. i've brought this up to him and his rebuttal is he loves her but could never see her in the same light after their breakup. he's only speaking to her because he loves his son/only father figure his son knows. doesn't want to upset her where she becomes bitter/withholds visitations
Id try saying no and see how it impacts your friendship. If she disappears after you start saying no, there’s your answer. You don’t have to do anything for anyone, especially if it stresses you out
Either ur trolling or u have been on a coma for 20 years because ma’am, u need to have some self respect.
Yes, it's cheating.
It's not normal.
The ones who tell you it's normal…I do feel sorry, either they're generally the perps for this type of behavior or they don't know what's cheating and what's not (ignorant).
Maybe you should try showing your appreciation for her thoughtfulness by doing little things for her in return. Actions speak louder than words, show her the appreciation part so you can get her to hear the concerns part as you communicating your feelings not criticizing her efforts for you.
This. If you join the military you will be deployed, and she won't come with you. You might not see your kid for years. Don't do this.
I have yet to see a happy relationship where one or both parties had to ask permission for any and all contact…..seems both of you are wasting each other's time.
Oh girl, you have to leave. He is effectively having his cake and eating it too. Moreover, he doesn't care about either of you. You need to realize that you are worth far more than he is treating you.
Girl He does feel bad, sure Because you found out, that is Come on – a year and a half? Out of three years?
Do yourself a favor and move on.
Damn I’m a woman and that was nude. Definitely storing these for my husband
Dude. Get a grip. It took her a lousy 'couple of months' to start cheating and has fucked 2 other men already? And thinks you should just get over her still being around these people and partying with them?
Respect yourself man. She's trash and has nothing to offer you but turmoil and STD's.
If the sex is dead leave him on read – if he puts his sexuality on women other than you, date to marry another man and if a man loves you enough to marry you ghost this MF!
I've been through a similar situation at work. It turned out the guy was just toying with me. What a sleaze. I would avoid him at all costs.
It’s not ok for him to show pictures of his body parts without first asking if you’re interested in seeing. To his mild defense, you engaged in discussion about his penis….but that still doesn’t make it ok.
Next time you see him and each time after that…..no flirting.
If you feel like you need to say something to him you could try something like, “I know we were flirting, but it really made me uncomfortable when you showed me that picture.”
This is a life lesson for you. Flirting tends to escalate….and you really don’t know what’s next. If you’re not interested in a big way…no flirting.
Yes, that's textbook jealousy because you're obsessed with your exes new girl, although you try to disguise it as “concern”
I'm 36 and I go biking with a 15 year old and a 51 year old. The 15 year olds mum drives us up the mountain and we bike down.
Nothing wrong with platonic friendships of any age.
If you want to reach out, do it. There’s nothing wrong with that, it’s a choice you’re allowed to make. But your friend is also allowed to choose whether to reply or not.
Extend the olive branch and accept whatever the outcome.
But….this is what Reddit’s for. To give an opinion just like you did lol
You were a huge stoner and refer to it as drug use….call me the pope
No I don't want him to find out how insecure I am
Your welcome! Please keep safe and update.
because when we want something so bad we can unintentionally manipulate others?
He's gaslighting, you know it happened he's trying to blag you that it didn't, he knows exactly what he's doing to you
You're not going to get through it as long as he's doing it
I will try to talk to him. I hope he'll be serious. I hope he would not use it against me. I am really nervous.
They absolutely did NOT stop texting. He may have said they did but he liiiiieeeeed
90% committed to you is the same as 0%. Dump her
Fake
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Lose weight. If you need help I can guide you.
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how do you go to family functions and just pretend this isn’t happening? How do you have a relationship with someone who did that to a family member?
You don't. There's absolutely no reason to subject your child to predators or people who enable them. It really doesn't matter how many excuses they try to make to justify his behaviour, your child isn't safe with any of them.
If a girl wants to bang another guy, for any reason, it’s very bad. U understand this right?
Well now you know. Offer up the idea of role play.
Why does he got to have an opinion in YOUR relationship? Is she in or out?
Not bad for 20+ years of freedom. Sometimes it sucks to be a man.
If you can't leave him for yourself, leave him for your daughter. Children are impressionable. He's modelling that you can be controlled and ridiculed, in front of your daughter. Divorce is not something to feel bad about, reframe it as choosing the possibility of something better. Picture the relationship you deserve. Now picture how he treats you. Now picture the relationship you deserve. Time to plan your exit ?
Okay, because they say “to the baby”…
Set higher standards for your life partner or your kids will grow up with an abusive/absent father.
4 days ago!? He is already showing he is controlling, especially when you don't answer and accuses you if disappearing. Red flag! Cut your loses.
I've suggested a doctors visit before and she shot it down …. I'm gonna sit down with her tonight and explain exactly how I feel and go from there
Your husband isn't living up to his responsibility to manage his own family (so you don't have to). But kicking in-laws out of your house is truly the slash and burn/salted earth alternative. Lost in all this “blind rage” seems to be how your kids would be affected by the ugly divorce you're teeing up. You seem pretty self destructive on this and without knowing what FIL's “sin” was it's nude to say if that's the rational response. Truly anything short of him hitting on you or trying to diddle the kids probably doesn't justify this level of hostility. But at the very least engage with a family counselor so you and the guy you picked to make children with can separate in a way that causes the least permanent damage to your offspring. We don't always make the best decisions when we're “blind with rage”. Good luck (to your kids, they're going to need it).
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Your title is enough to know you need to leave
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If you’re so confident in your actions why are you using a throwaway account
It’s totally reasonable to have these feelings a month out, I’ve been there. It just takes time. You’ll get there you just kind of have to go one foot at a time and let let time work it’s healing. I was still wrapped up I. My ex like… three months out, but I was at the point where it wasn’t actively bothering me and I was able to go about it my normal life and even start meeting new people.
It just be slow, sometimes man. Just know what you’re feeling 100% natural.
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My boyfriend backed out of our driveway when my dad was walking the dog, and he didn't here my dad yelling “stop”. It's my dad's fault, not his.
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Lolllll
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This is definitely weird. I have two cousins who are siblings and the girl sits on the boys lap all the time. They are 21 and 17 and I’ve always thought it was weird af. Add to that everything else you said and I’d be out. I imagine their relationship could cause issues in yours in the future if the sister disagrees with something you want and he sides with her every time.
Just because she’s okay with step parenting doesn’t mean she’s not thinking it through
mh yeah i understand. its probably possible to get therapy anyway but I'd have to travel to another city and that would be a bit nude but I'll look more into it :')
Reddit says there's 2 comments but I can't see any of them
I did, thankyou(: I’m gonna jot this as a learning experience because if anyone treats me similar to how she did I’m walking away. Immediately next time, this has been a learning experience about having some self respect and untucking my nuts from my stomach. Time to grow up and grow a pair and deal with this like an adult.
I work in HR. It’s inappropriate what she’s doing.
What I recommend doing before talking to HR, if he decide to do so:
Make sure his HR team is safe and not hell bent on making sure any member of management keeps their job regardless of violating company policies or even laws
Potentially he could tell his boss that he won’t be as available via text on his off time as he is spending more time with his wife and kids. Then he just stops replying to her and keeps the interactions at work
He could ask his coworkers if she does to anyone else. If he’s the only one, red flag.
He needs to make sure she won’t retaliate against him. HR can’t prevent retaliation regardless of what they say unless they are working with management on performance reviews and terminations. I’ve prevented someone from being fired in retaliation before, but that because I was the only HR leader working on employee relations at that company, so I knew what the manager was trying to pull. He may need to switch managers or teams.
Update: I spoke to my mum & was told 1. How ungrateful I am 2. They’re only trying to do the best for me 3. Everyone is getting married 4. I’m already too old and I’ll never be able to find anyone. 5. Dad has a heart condition and he’s “very worried” 6. I have no sense of respect and I’m completely inconsiderate 7. Stop using mental state as an excuse and blaming everyone
So happy new year to me lol
I will do everything I can to earn that back. I know it will be nude, but I cannot give up.
If she didn’t gain the 60lbs now she would’ve later on probably, honestly best he leaves her
A year is no new relationship. Why can't you simply include her?
Seems like he already chose it. So sorry.
You can certainly talk to him about it but I’d warn you to be prepared to leave that talk as single.
In a way I can understand. I feel like they will never be friends now which is upsetting… but I also feel like Beth never even tried. She seemed jealous from the start that I had a female best friend as soon as she found out, but that's a separate issue.
Beth did say she wouldn't break up over this, but if we already have this much tension over something that hasn't even happened, I'm worried that could lead to us breaking up.
I mean, I don't think I am putting my friends feelings before Beth's, since right now I am trying to figure out what to do… but are you saying that if I went on holiday with Amy, I would be? Sorry, I just want to clarify that.
Was that this thread? I thought that huge red burst was a fucking supernova.
Okay so that can come off as manipulative. I'm not saying he's completely right, because he isn't with how he talks to you, but crying when he confronts you about something you did wrong can come off as manipulative
You ask a partner to adjust behavior you don’t like. If they won’t, you can either accept it, set boundaries around it, or break up. Other than him wanting to fix it himself, there’s no magic advice that will get him to behave how you want.
Yikes, she sounds like a Jane Austin character. Like what a modern, social media crazed Lady Catherine de Borough would be?
Anyhow, this whole “Other than the mom situation, it’s a perfect relationship” sentiment is like saying “other than the open hell mouth that’s gradually flooding the basement with sulfur and raw sewage, this house is perfect!” This mom stuff is no small issue, and it’s ok to set the bar for yourself quite a bit higher than you currently are.
To that end, you can’t control how his mom acts or feels. You can’t make her change or even make her want to change. But you can: 1. Limit your exposure to her. I know it’s his mom, but that doesn’t obligate you to be perpetually at her beck and call. If seeing her once a month is more than enough for you, then stop agreeing to see her more than once a month. If once a quarter is enough, then do that. Figure out what you (not everyone else, but you) want and can on-line with, and start doing that. And talk with BF about why, so he understands what’s up. This isn’t about preventing him from seeing her, this is about you and your advocating for your own needs. 2. Talk to your BF about how the things she says and does affect/hurt you, and ask him to help strategize ways to make that stop. The answer might mainly involve reduced exposure, like in #1, but it’s also reasonable to expect him to intervene. The general rule of thumb is that each person in the relationship is responsible for managing and wrangling their own side of the family, so he should be taking the lead on talking with her and setting reasonable expectations and boundaries. 3. If it were me, I’d completely pause all talk of marriage until he’s had the experience of living on his own for at least a year. Like I wouldn’t even suggest moving in with each other before he’s taken that step, or all the weird…whatever it is they have going on (enmeshment?) may just get transferred over to you or stay unresolved. And yeah, him living by himself for awhile might be expensive, but it’ll give him an invaluable life experience, and give you a chance to see if him breaking free from mom’s grasp is truly possible and what he’s like then. 4. Talk all this out with a therapist. One of the issues with this type of mom-son dynamic is that you can start to feel like the odd one out. Like your relationship is 2 vs 1 (it’s not), and that they have the power or the right to gang up on you and out vote you on stuff. That them agreeing on stuff must automatically mean it’s you who’s in the wrong, not them, even when you would otherwise be pretty sure that’s not the case. Working with a therapist, and one that’s a neutral third (fourth?) party, can help keep that kind of skewed perspective from taking over. 5. Suggest he, too, works with a therapist, and that you two do some significant pre-marriage counseling prior to moving forward with any marriage plans. In short, this is not a “get married and hope it all magically solves itself somehow” situation. This is a “let’s get the relationship plunger out and plumb the depths of this before we tie ourselves together for life” thing.
You can also 6. Decide, especially if BF won’t come around to some of the points made above, that this “hell mouth house,” even though otherwise perfect, just unfortunately isn’t for you. That you want more and have the right to ask for more.
I feel like the block feature on phones exists for exactly this type of scenario. And after he starts calling you from other numbers (and before you block those numbers too), you tell him that “No is a complete sentence. You made up your mind not to raise the baby almost a year ago because you knew exactly what it would entail, and that single mothers all around the world manage this, is he saying he is weaker than most women?
Haha I was in the US Navy. The dad in this story just sounds incredibly extreme. Most veterans I know would never pressure their kids into enlisting.
what's there to ask, do you take pictures like that with just male friends? how would he feel if you still hung out 1 on 1 with a man you were this close to (and have obviously had something with)?
You are crazy: If You have to prove constantly that you're not cheating, that should be enough to leave. A relationship should be based on trust. I would sit her down, and explain to her that this is becoming a problem. If she disagrees, or tries to throw the blame your way, it's divorce time. A relationship should be an improvement over being single. Where's the improvement here? Do you want to come home and talk with her again, have a good meal and some quality time? Or are you dreading opening the front door because you know what will happen?
It is your life, you only on-line it once, so live it with someone you want to online it with.
I don’t think so, doesn’t seem any more random than your original text. Your original text also didn’t make it clear that you’re interested in casual, but I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think you let him know you’re interested in casual more through your actions, i.e. don’t overthink things like you currently are, don’t text too much, etc. Not everything you’re thinking has to go into this one text.
It’s the worst time for me to have found this out as the place I’m going to is undergoing building works so not really much room for me but my family will make it work. I might contact them tomorrow to see if they can help me move faster and just take a day off work and move all my things whilst he is at work.
the lesson you taught her is you are willing to hurt her to force her to do things your way. fuck man is closing the garage yourself really that nude bro? If I'm the last one going to bed some nights I check to make sure all the doors are locked. I don't make my wife come back down and lock the door because she might have been the last one to unlock it.
If you don't want to share your partner with his daughter you'll need to find someone who doesn't have kids. She's only three. Of course she's always around.
Access point
Girl, ew. We teach people how to treat us based on what behaviours we accept.
By staying with him, you're teaching him that it's fine to disrespect you and lust over other women in your presence, and rub it in your face as well. You're also teaching yourself that this behaviour is ok with you.
It shouldn't be, because it's not, and everyone deserves better than that.
I would use the road trip to get to know her better. Just talk about wants, needs, future goals and what you want out of a relationship. At the end of the road, you should know eachother better and you can determine what you want to do afterwards
Why call the cops now after the break up? You didn't do it the whole time you were dating. Just stop giving her help and money and move on.
Sorry but your wife is gross ?
This is what's called a “rebound relationship” and they often don't last long. But at least in this case it sounds like you're both rebounds for the other, so hopefully no hurt feelings here. Meet with your ex if you want to. Just don't get back together until you've totally resolved what broke you up in the first place. This new “relationship” doesn't sound like it's going anywhere anyway. So do what you like.
Eh, you can get a phone that is serviceable for $40 nowadays and generally swap out the sim yourself. If you chose not to and you're managing to pay tuition, you could have cut out luxuries to make that happen if you really wanted to.
If your partner was tech savvy and you are not, it'd be nice if they lent their expertise. If you were fine with using a broken phone, I don't see why your partner would be expected to solve it, regardless.
she obviously doesn’t have that condition because she’s had passionate sex
People with TN never have sex, noted. What a wild take. You're missing every possible subtlety like she may have not had a flare for a while. Or she's on new medication. Or she just thought, “Ah, fuck it, I'm not going to be afraid today. My desire feels greater than my fear, right now.” And then, thankfully, she had sex with no issues that time.
If she had sex with no issues again, then that's great. But if she feels pain the next time, she's not faking it or milking it or whatever. It's almost like chronic illness doesn't exist purely to fuck up your partner's sex life.
extremely low-probability edge
OP said a nerve problem affects her face. TN isn't that much of a stretch, sport.
If you have the desire to have daily orgasms and gumption to carry out those daily orgasms alone but never have any sexual energy for your SO
No? Again, she's in control, she knows how to move to not hurt herself, and masturbation can take far less energy and a different headspace.
I'm not saying OP doesn't have the right to be upset in this highly-fictionalised scenario. But YOU seem determined to villainise someone for evilly “withholding sex” and fucking her friend when it's you making leaps higher than a mountain goat on a fucking trampoline.
Imagine needing an STI check because your father is a butt-pirate plundering your boyfriend’s booty.
You’re not in a place for a relationship right now. And you’re very immature for moving in with someone after a month or two when you’re still so entwined with your ex. You’re being pretty selfish expecting your gf to online without any appliances because you’re tiptoeing around your ex’s feelings.
You are not able to make any woman a priority over your ex right now, so it’s a really bad idea to be dating. Maybe being on your own for five minutes will give you some perspective.
I went through something similar when I dated someone in my mid twenties.
Him saying things like I sEe YoU aS wEaK nOw is the beginning of the end. He called off our engagement and I left him (I'm so weak, but he still wanted me around as his convenient sex person).
20 something years later I know I dodged a bullet.
Break up with him.
I don’t want to discourage you from seeking any and all help you can but in my experience having been stalked and abused before, cops are such an unreliable and unhelpful crapshoot that it’s nude to even say what will or won’t make them take anything seriously. You can try making the cops aware of what’s going on so far in the hopes of creating a paper trail, try the ghost approach I advised and then if things continue or escalate use the internet to draft a cease and desist (sent certified mail) and then also provide that info to the cops along with your time stamped notes for that time period to establish that you’ve said stop. It’s impossible to say whether that will do any good or if they’ll take you seriously but if you feel compelled (and also safe enough with LEO) to seek their help, 100% do it. You could even call on a domestic violence org in your area for help and tips as far as approaching your local PD about this as they will definitely know both the best way to go about it and also what expectations are realistic as far as their help.
Yea I was thinking more so something like this than anything mental.
That’s so much weight for such a short time. I’m overweight right now and working on losing it. But it took like 4-5 years to gain that much weight gradually
The best way is to go full on NC. If he keeps coming around get a no trespassing order. He is not your problem now and fuck his mom for trying to guilt you in to staying with him. What he CLEARLY needs is professional help; not you as a gf.
What advice are you seeking? There is no question here. However based on this post my advice is to report all the things you can anonymously and help your gf find a new job.
Yes, this is weird. Very suspicious. These are what I think is possibly going on:
1) your wife is obsessed with her daughter’s boyfriend and stole a couple of his shirts
2) your wife is having an affair and those shirts belong to the affair partner
It's not better to have parents have you while they are already separated. Not have you because they loved each other, but just because they had said they would get 2 kids so they decided to do it, and doesn't matter that it brings you into a world of shit. Think about the kid here. This is a terrible situation
You can't. You are in no position to help him beyond getting him to see a doctor and a counsellor or therapist. That needs to be your focus.
Yes, you are an adult; if you want him and his money, it’s apparently open to you. Do what you want.
If everybody is paying for their own share (tickets/hotel), then they can do what they want. You’re 14 people, that’s plenty enough to split into 2-4 groups of people and do what each group enjoys. A sports match is a few hours long, you can split up for a couple hours and regroup. It’s their money, they can decide how they want to spend their time.
My advice is to go to the couples counseling session that's scheduled and as soon as the session starts, tell the therapist that you no longer want to be in a relationship with this man and you have tried to tell him that and he's not accepting it, so you need the therapist's help in this last session to get him to understand that this relationship is over and he needs to leave you alone.
I’m upset that his response was just “ok” and nothing more. He only said we could talk about it later when I told him I was upset.
Honestly-whether she needs meds or not; abusing your partner is never ok, she’s just abusive- this has nothing to do with estrogen or adhd-this is who she is
Be honest, upfront, non-adversarial and forthright. Unfortunately, snooping into your bfs Snapchat account is none of those things. You are uncomfortable around this woman. If you and your bf have a mature honest relationship, you tell him that you are uncomfortable and are probably going to have to admit to snooping. But, if this destroys your relationship, it was probably doomed anyway.
Sounds like your boyfriend declined the opportunity to step out of his relationship with you to be with someone else. You should be happy.
bc they have kids together, she will always be a part of the equation, and I knew that going in. What I didn’t expect was her level of regret 3 years after the fact.
Yeah but, that’s your perspective. I think this commenter was spot on that you need to ask her to give you details of what she feels like she needs help with.
The issue is that you guys aren’t experiencing the same reality. What you are living is different from what she’s living. None of us are there and can comment on what is really happening.
Until you guys drill down into the details you aren’t going to find a solution. You each think that there is a different problem. Find a common problem and then you can find a solution.
Also asking her for details forces her to examine more closely exactly what she’s feeling. It may that her depression is really hitting her. It may that you don’t realize everything that goes into her day. I suspect that it’s somewhere in beitween.
Your choice and all that but it is really uncomfortable kissing beardy men (the obligatory for me) so don’t complain if kissing stops.
she got othar problams going on this was the cherry on top
I don't get why you all are on his case this nude. No one is calling out his wife for not wanting to have sex with him and jumping straight away at the open marriage opportunity. She even said that she wanted it herself but didn't want to ask. She constructed the whole thing so she'll get some strange, but it will be on her husband because he's the one that asked.
OP, do you and your wife have any intimacy with each other at all?? Or are you just getting that from others and living together as roommates that coparent?
Sounds to me like your marriage was done long ago.
Personally, I'd rather be dropped into a crocodile pit than every date someone with BPD again
That said, I got the extreme end of the condition where the person was truly damaged and abusive (and treatment resistant)
I've read enough to know many people are nowhere near this level of dysfunction with BPD, so it really depends on where they are on the spectrum of the condition
For me I'm just never taking that chance again
A risk of no sex before marriage is that you don't find out you're not sexually compatible until it's too late.
Your wife isn't attracted to you. She doesn't want you. It's a tough message but you can't change her mind. Let her go with dignity.
This is a test she is failing. The friend is gay. This is not about trust. This is about commitment or her lack of it.
They are creepy.
But also it seems like you feel entitled to their time? I know it sucks feeling left out, and you should express it that way. That you want to spend more time with them, not that you're jealous they are with each other.
After expressing yourself, if they still don't give you any time, then you know where your relationship stands. You'll be able to mourn what you thought you had and maybe invest that energy in other relationships to build new close family bonds.
But, at the end of the day, you can't change them. All you can do is communicate your feelings and maybe see a therapist about your sibling issues.
They can’t annul it. There’s been no legal impediment. They consummated the marriage. He wasn’t coerced and neither was she. This is an entirely legal marriage. The only thing to do is divorce or separate
Okay that makes sense
So he's using you.
How often do you sleep in bed with others that you don’t actually sleep with that you eventually went “that’s it! No more platonic bed sharing!”..?
I’m so proud of you. But also thank you for sharing the funniest thing I’ve read today.
Blue, your H's strong abandonment fear — as well as his anger issues — may be due to his having very weak control over his own emotions (i.e., a lack of emotional skills he had no opportunity to acquire in childhood). My exW has this problem. If that is an issue for your BF, you likely have been seeing 3 other warning signs.
First, you would be seeing him rely heavily on black-white thinking, wherein he tends to categorize some people as “all good” (“with me”) or “all bad” (“against me”) and will recategorize them — in just a few seconds — from one polar extreme to the other based on a minor infraction.
Because he also uses B-W thinking in judging HIMSELF, he would rarely acknowledge making a mistake or having a flaw. Doing so would imply, in his mind, he is “all bad.” He thus would blame misfortunes and mistakes on you and view himself as “The Victim.”
Further, to validate his “victim” status, he would keep a detailed mental list of every infraction/mistake you ever did (real or imagined) and would not hesitate to pull out the entire list to defend himself in the smallest, most insignificant disagreement with you. Moreover, this B-W thinking also would be evident in his frequent use of all-or-nothing expressions like “you ALWAYS…” and “you NEVER….”
Second, you would not see him expressing his anger to casual friends, classmates, or total strangers. He usually gets along fine with them. Rather, his temper tantrums almost exclusively would be expressed against a close loved one (e.g., against you, his sibling, or his parents).
Third, you are convinced he truly loves you. But you often see him flipping, on a dime, between Jekyll (loving you) and Hyde (devaluing you), frequently making you feel like you're “walking on eggshells.” Such flips would occur in a few seconds in response to some minor thing you say or do.
Blue, have you been seeing strong occurrences of these 3 red flags?
He is gaslighting you. He is trying to mess with your mind and make you doubt reality. Thus man is manipulative and untrustworthy and cruel. You aren't safe with him. You cannot trust him.
He put himself on video. I'm sorry if it comes off as stupid. I just don't want to be conned
We're not in high school or middle school, though these situations have made me feel like I've been taken back in time..
What exactly do you mean by giving her an opportunity for growth? As in, what do you suggest I say to her that would give her that opportunity? About including me in the conversations?
Stop talking to her on video chat. If you’ve told her before that you find it disrespectful and she still does it, that means she doesn’t respect you enough to give a shit.
Yeah I always like to put exercise into snack terms. What do I do to lose more weight – walk for 1 hour OR not eat that donut. It’s as simple as that. Don’t eat the donut – you’ve walked for one hour
She belongs to the streets OP, you agreed to still act married, she cheated on you with at least 30 people! Get yourself some IC and take it from there.
Wow
UpdateMe!
UpdateMe!
UpdateMe!
Devils advocate, lets argue the other side of this comment section and try empathizing: clearly he was needing you to listen. Obviously he would be defensive if you start the argument by saying he embarrassed you to yalls friends. You're trying to correct his behavior when you could've easily seen he was upset and tried to talk about other things to cheer him up a bit (if you so cared to). Instead you knew he was emotional regardless of the reason, and hammered in how much of an embarrassment he was to you in front of everybody. Of course he would be defensive and react.
Id be shocked if I had a hand over my mouth also. That was the point. How many times in the past has he told you to listen and you kept interrupting? Why did he feel that the only way you would ever listen to him, was if he put a hand up to your mouth for only 2 seconds? Did he interrupt you when you were telling him about what an embarrassment he was?
ESH. Yall need to break up because you sound like a controlling drama queen who would rather be right and make corrections to behavior and “the argument” and he sounds like a similar dramatic emotional bottler who bursts over the silliest of things. You need someone who will do whatever you say and not have human moments in public or otherwise, and he needs someone who will have his back and not make him feel like he's not good enough.
Like look at what you're arguing:
Your point: you put your hand to my mouth so I'd “finally” listen.
His point: you called me an embarrassment to you and then won't listen to my feelings.
Hm.
How many people do you personally know with Autism?
Thank you, I think I’ll leave it alone altogether.
She was a minor who was raped. Her name definitely isn't gonna be linked to his death because it's been sealed in all the court records and on-line databases.
They’ve been friends 17 years. That’s an awful long time to pretend to be friends. Have you ever thought maybe they were friends.
That’s a very good thought! Thank you for that perspective. I’ve never had a yeast infection which is apparently very common during pregnancy and I still don’t so I don’t know the pain that he is experiencing
When you're afraid of being alone, you will settle for less than you deserve. People will treat you however they want; I've been there. When you love yourself, being alone becomes a gift and you realize that time is valuable and can be spent creating the life you want and working to become the best version of yourself. You could enjoy being young and single, which you should because you aren't young forever.
Needing a partner is an unfortunate social construct projected onto women and it often leaves us trapped in unsatisfying relationships and marriages. You could end up having children with the wrong person because you didn't want to be alone. Do not give anymore of your time to people who don't deserve it because you don't want to be alone.
Oh boy…
What an irrelevant question.
You'll talk to him for her???? I'm sorry what? Tell her to call the cops. He needs a wake up call. He's dangerous.
That’s so gross- too bad you didn’t find out how little she respects you before you got married.
I do not have many friends because of moving to a new city. I have been trying to venture out and start new relationships, but its a little difficult because ive never been good at it. Currently, my boyfriend is the only one close to me. I was not able attend group activities with my then-friend group if other guys were involved. Going to the movies, out to eat, ect.
Do you want a BF or a boss? Right now, he's trying to be your boss.
Who do you love more the person you made real life comments to or the imaginary un alive ones in your head and just like money kids change everything
Your parents sound like horrible people. Cultural differences my ass! They’re jerks. Period. Is jerk a culture now?
Let me get this straight. You spied on your wife, who turns out had sent pictures to some guy. Then you had not one but two affairs with other women. And the title of your post is that your wife cheated ON YOU and you blame her for destroying your life? What about the shit you did, huh?
Why did you guys break up? That seems important…
Why don’t you have any friends or family ‘anymore’? What happened to them?
It’s not weird to be annoyed when someone you care cancels plans with you to go hang out with other people
This is either a troll or the son/DIL writing because this account is so skewed and one sided.
Are you on the same phone account? If so, pull up her messaging log
Does the male know she's a married woman? Not every guy is chomping at the bit to be a homewrecker.
Also I have a female coworker who been married for 18 years with 2 kids that gives out her number to male coworkers. Im 100% sure she doesn't want to cheat, but when you've been married since you were a teenager and your husband is obese, you can start to get a little bored. I think she talks to men she finds attractive for fun.
I love that you're upset with him for telling people something you weren't supposed to tell him in the first place.
Yeah, if she cheated who gives a fk about snooping. Cheating is far, far, far worse Confront her about it.
Really trust each other huh?
I've been in your position, where you really need the money, but really need to quit. It's an awful situation, please remember that you do not deserve this you do not need to be tough enough to grin and bear it, and your boss is not untouchable.
If you can get some money together, quit
You can’t make her understand. People find it easier to continue the way they are than they do to change, eventually it comes to catch up with them, that is why you literally see people smoking wheeling around oxygen tanks. She has to want to make changes, you can’t do it for her, but if she does, support her as much as you can.
i agree with you that an online only relationship cannot compete with a real world one but we already decided that this summer we're going to meet eachother. She also just told me that she wants to marry me and that i am the man that she always dreamt about, she also told me that she feels really bad for liking someone else while we were dating.
Appreciate you…lots of work ahead
Talking 3 times a day isn't so bad if you ask me. And I often take off a few hours myself. It's annoying if you have to explain yourself to everyone about your whereabouts.
It's different if I go for the whole day. I usually tell people I'll be slow repliant and I'll let them know when I'm back home.
Look, if you feel it crossed a line and she feels it crossed a line, it crossed a line. Given the specifics of your relationship cheating might be an overly inflammatory word–I could see that being a space she didn't feel had well defined boundaries. But you both feel it crossed a line. So figure out where the line is instead of quibbling about whether it's cheating or not so you can avoid it happening again. Establish clear boundaries. If you can't agree on where they are decide if you want to stay together or not.
You can't change what she already did, so unless you're trying to define cheating in order to decide whether to stay together or not it's not super useful to worry about whether this was cheating or not. It's only useful to figure out what you need from her going forward.
Hi Poly woman here! Everyone who slammed on you is totally out of pocket!! Your feelings are completely valid and fair. It isn’t for everyone and that is absolutely ok 🙂
Im glad you stood your ground and made sure you didn’t sway just to please someone else!
Proud of you for knowing what it is you want!!!
Repeated exposure isnt the way to deal with food intolerance avoidance is. She also could be like me and intolerant to eggs by themselves but fine when they are in things like baking. It has to do with the way the protein reacts with the other ingredients
Lol no but I am married to one like this.
Just listen to the podcast “sweet bobby” if you want to feel justified in wanting a face-to-face
Worth checking into at the very least.
no no no. if she was truly sorry and want to work things out she’d NEVER contact that guy again. the fact that his name is saved under someone different. i know you love her, but you need to love you more and leave. you’ll find someone better.
I guess I’m just looking for someone to tell me that I am not tripping and that I really didn’t say anything but the truth because with the way he’s been around the house lately, I find myself feeling bad, like I’m the one who messed up.
Absolute troll.
Maybe you haven’t met everyone, and not every POS (from your experience) is the same type of POS.
how would you feel (community responders) if you were my partner?
I would assume she'd feel that you care more about your work wife than your actual wife. You put more effort into someone you claim to not be attracted to. Energy you could have put into your family.
You are single. Act like it. Delete her number and do what you need to to move on. Hit the gym buddy. It’s over. Let it go. Take a hint.
isn't like is also a feeling? even hookups have feelings involve. he is talking crap wanting her agreement for open marriage so its not cheating. so what now? if she said no he is gonna cheat? that seems how it was posted – wtf!
its a NO & a BIG RED FLAG. too many similar cases posted here in Reddit & broke the marriage when the spouse fell in love with the other person & left.
btw why are you posting instead of your friend? are you planning to hookup with her husband when she say yes to the open marriage?
People that appear to be sensitive are usually only sensitive to themselves. There is no regard for anyone else. This is what she is doing to you too. As long as you toe the line, you are on her side.
Pack up all his stuff in to a box / bin bag and throw out the trash.
You deserve better.
He doesn't want to wear a mask for life. My question is, is this an important requirement in a partner for you? Is so, then don't date someone who doesn't want to wear a mask all the time.
It should be said though, that the wearing of masks (surgical or otherwise) doesn't really do an awful a lot in preventing people from getting infected (only preventing infections being spread around by the affected), and this has long been known. So unless he's already infected with something, him wearing a mask all the time will only make a fractional difference to your health.
You could get Covid from anywhere. Your situation sucks, but there is only so much you can do to lower your chances. And at some point you need to go have a life (and functional relationships!) in this condition. Have you become too focused on the mask issue?
I too am immunocompromised, so I know the fear of getting Covid. And I've had it 3 times now (and it massively sucked each time). But my take is that life goes on, and I'm not going to let my underlying condition define my life for me more than it needs to.
Only you can decide whether the mask issue is an ultimatum level issue for you.
This take is controversial bc most people won’t understand the perspective of the SA victim being broken up with so I’ll preface it with no matter what you choose you’re not wrong for needing to break up. You should break up with an alcoholic. I just want you to see a perspective from someone who went through heartbreak while dealing with abuse and what can happen.
you don’t deserve to be miserable but as a fellow victim I can tell you breaking up with her while something this monumentally traumatic occurred will literally compound the trauma.
it will make it take longer to heal from than if she were in a normal state of mind and will hurt her a lot. Like more than you can imagine if you didn’t go through it. First you’re broken for a while like all heartbreaks then you’re fine then you’re numb/dissociated then it’s like a tragedy on steroids that I can’t really explain. It’s not at all like regular break ups and lost love bc mentally even when you can think straight you’re not all there, this is because of the PTSD and aftermath. your (her) view of the situation is distorted and you can’t even tell until you’ve healed FROM THE HEALING PROCESS. as in, she won’t have to heal just from the trauma but also heal from the fall out of not being in the right state of mind for the break up leading to her making bad decisions/dwelling etc
She’ll try to deal with both pains at the same time but the reality is one will take precedence over the other and at some point it will switch prolonging it further
Is it possible to wait to break up and force her into rehab until she had a minute to come to terms? Even if not fully healed
Again, NOT your responsibility and you don’t deserve it and you’re NOT the bad guy but just know doing it now will have a butterfly effect on her life and healing.
Took me ten years to get over my abuse and the heartbreak bc I was trying to process lost love/could haves and a life long traumatic experience at the same time consumed by ptsd, guilt, depress, etc. She probably blames herself which grinds healing and coming to terms to a halt.
Breaking up with her now is like ripping off a band aid so sticky it’s fused to the top few layers of skin. It’s going to cause more damage than the normal band aid.
I’m not trying to tell you to stay but I want you to see what is potentially her perspective.
Given the ages everyone is I'm surprised as their behaviour seems more like that of teenagers than folks nearly in their 30's, but I guess we've all come to learn age doesn't mean a lot at times.
Personally I'd have ditched hum as a bf the instant you got on the plane as if you're being victim shamed and he's not making any effort to stand up for you, much less blaming you for being the one to make a bad impression? Yeah.
You'd have thought if they were decent people they'd have, even with a couple of drinks in them, have had the decency to process you're clearly not enjoying their fun and rapidly apologise and leave you in peace.
We”re with you 100% to lose him and find someone else or just enjoy being single for a while aa damn, that is some childish and stupid behaviour from all of them.
depression after giving birth is a real thing she might not be showing sign that are very drastic, but you need to have her seek help if she is depressed.
Grief counselling is really something you could look into. I’m really sorry and I send my condolences.
What’s some things she loved doing? Could you spend some time with her family and use them as a mutual support?
I agree and I feel like I just need to break it off before I get more attached and make it harder on myself. It’s just I fell in love with her, I know it’s only 3 months. It’s just I care and I’m hurt. I feel like I know what I need to do. Thank you
Yes, if you abandon your unborn child you can be a deadbeat dad. Others have suggested he is harassing OP because his mother wants grandkids, which sounds a reasonable assumption. Very convenient to show up when your kids are already grown up and in a stable environment, so you can avoid putting any work in raising them. It still looks something a deadbeat would do.
Don’t feel any guilt for his actions. You didn’t know he cheating on his wife. You even asked him and he lied. This is not your fault.
If his marriage ends in divorce, he may try to crawl back to you, but don’t let him back in.
If she wears it, talk to your photographer about changing the color on official pictures. If she asks about it or complain about it, either tell her that you didn't want her to look impolite in the pictures since she wore white as a guest in a wedding, or blame your photographer (with their permission, of course).
it sounds like you asked a question and he gave his honest opinion. That's all there is to it. If you like someone you like them for a bunch of their qualities, traits, quirks etc etc. But there's always going to be a bunch of things you are either ambivalent or unhappy about.
Having 100% compatibility like a Disney love story just doesn't exist in real life. Hitting 80% is pretty good tbh. So eye colour in this case falls under the 20% that's not compatible, that's all. Since he's dating you there's got to be plenty he does like, just not eye colour apparently.
I wouldn't give it a second thought beyond that. Unless you expect 100% perfect movie romance perfect compatibility with your partner. Or you think eye colour attraction is a major relationship deciding factor.
Don't ask questions if you're to insecure to deal with a truthful answer tbh.
Before that can happen he may need to talk to a therapist. He needs to be able to unpack his childhood experiences and get support navigating the emotional and spiritual abuse and trauma he's experienced. Once he's been able to get some work with those issues and have built some tools for himself to help work through his feelings he'll be better able to find the strength to break away from this unhealthy situation and resist the hardcore psychological and emotional manipulation that is guaranteed to come.
You under no circumstances should talk to this woman. Her attempt to “clear the air” is a trap, and you owe her absolutely nothing.
Honestly, that’s a perfectly valid way to bring this up.
You shouldn’t have to open your legs up when you don’t want to have sex to appease him, and if he can’t cope with you having a lower sex drive temporarily or moving forward – you two shouldn’t get married.
While he is allowed to want more sex, he isn’t allowed to pressure you and ignore your clear body language or words. Just be honest. Relationships depend on transparency and communication.
But if it takes 5mins why can’t he I don’t enjoy doing it. Also last year he did literally all the chores and hardly complained let alone got mad at me so idk why it all the sudden changed with him not wanting to do anything for me. Like even if I ask him to grab me something while we’re in bed he tells me to get it myself.
I think you're absolutely right, I tried to tell him this multiple times, that maybe he is “projecting” his feeling of stress at the house, because sometimes he is very anxious about very little things and it usually comes to hand when he has a nude day at work, but he's not accepting this, and he refuse going to therapy. That's the reason I'm don't know how to handle the situation any more but just read your comment made me feel really understood. Thank you very much.
How on earth is this not an instant deal breaker for you?
Pick your standards up hun, they seem to be in hell.
It's always the big age gaps…
Have you tried talking with him about your insecurities? Setting a trap for him is a really shitty thing to do and isn't a long-term solution. If you feel like you can't trust him, it might be better for you both to break up. If I found out that my bf tried to test me, I would be livid. This whole thing is a huge red flag
How often does he go down on you?
The idea of being the “cool girlfriend” has got to stop. It’s okay to have boundaries and standards for how you’re treated
Try to turn it into a cheerful positive and don't even mention your mom. Go out and purchase some new pants for your partner on your own, wrap them up and surprise them. If they question the gift, tell them you didn't think the ones they had were doing them justice and wanted them to have something nice and new. No further discussion needed and it spares your partner's mental health.
This sounds like an absolute trainwreck.
According to your post history, you're a therapist?? You should absolutely know better than to think this is in any way normal or acceptable for a relationship. You're literally dating an incompetent and entitled man-child who wants you to act like his mother.
ooo maybe he has a mommy kink. Femdom mommy kink.
most alpha men do. it’s great for them to relax with their woman and not have to think too nude emotionally. because they are very active and take charge in their careers and daily lives. it’s a mental break for them to literally reset to baby mode and just be cared for…seen…listened to…simply listen and follow orders….and ultimately relax.
it could be that. it could also be a combination of him genuinely not being able to stop. sometimes I talk to people in the voice I use with my dog because I do it so often. like when the topic of my dog comes up…boom baby voice. or if I say something out loud to myself sometimes the baby voice comes out. it’s really nude to break that cycle. but maybe ask him if he has a mommy kink…but only if you’re okay with it. if it really is a turn off and you ask him…be prepared for the 50/50 chance of him saying yes. at that point it would suck if you ask him only to dump him because you might scar him and he will feel intense shame. so if you have a feeling that’s what it is- then maybe just end it so he can find his mommydom that won’t shame him…and you can find a man that’s not into that. bc that’s just sexual incompatibility.
but like I said- it’s 50/50 and only you really know. but there is nothing like a woman’s intuition so you feeling maternal means he probably has one…even if it’s just subconsciously so right now for him.
In fairness, she did tell me that the moment the foursome was offered she thought fuck it why not try it and see but it immediately became clear to her that it was the wrong choice. I have never, and would never be in contact with the three people so I wouldn't hear their side. Before she told me, she only told her best friend and my best friend (they are dating), and they both told her to tell me when she was gonna meet me. Clearly I am inclined to believe her at the offset but she has been unstintingly honest with me since we started.
Ok and what did she say when you talked to her about what you saw on Instagram? You did talk to her, right?
You got married in October. When you caught her in January, she said it had been going on for two months. So she cheated literally right after marrying you. This is supposed to be a time when you're head over heels in love with each other, when you couldn't even imagine being with someone else. But she stepped off the altar, turned around, and fucked someone else. You really need to do yourself a favor and leave this relationship. Because I'm willing to bet that the only reason she didn't cheat before is that she couldn't find someone else to fuck her, and the only reason she isn't cheating now is because you caught her.
I'm nonbinary. I think that gap is mainly about not knowing what being nonbinary means for them, how do they interpret it and identify. There are various verticals under the nonbinary umbrella, and they could mean different things. Your SO could identify what kind of perceptions and expectations of their former gender identity do not work for them anymore, and that would give you guidance on what not to do if that makes sense.
Maybe it would be a good idea to read up on the types of being nonbinary to have your own concepts that you can then discuss with your SO.
P.S. That's a colossal double standard that you wouldn't be considering forgiving her imagined infidelity.
This is one of those situations where you don't ask the question you don't want the answer to. Sorry that you're upset from the outcome. If you continue with these lines of questions, hypotheticals or want information about past sex partners, you're never going to be happy.
This didn't occur to me, but yeah, it's kind of creepy how excited the bridesmaid and her husband looked as well… I must've looked like a complete tool to them
I agree. It's possible that many people won't “get you” as I'm sure you've noticed. It's okay. Find a partner that's “gets you”
Now that’s actually helpful advice
He is abusing you. He doesn't love you, he doesn't respect you, ur seems like he doesn't even like you anymore.
Break up, get some counselling, go see your doctor again and be honest this time and really follow through with treatments.
You mentioned the wedding planning so far has been awful. What's been going wrong with it?
Ignoring the situation with your old friend, are you passionately in love with your fiancée? Does he make your heart sing?
“he's a great dad to one kid but is happy to abandon and pay the minimum amount in child support for the second!”
Does not a great dad make and you know it. If he can throw away one because being a father to that one is going to be harder and cause more drama for himself then he can easily also drop his first kid should it get nude.
She moved out and in with her boyfriend last year and when the broke up she asked if she could on-line with us because she preferred the independence over living with them. But the thing is that she isn’t independent, anytime she wants to go somewhere her mom comes and picks her up and takes her because she doesn’t want to drive. She t-boned someone at a stop sign a couple months ago and is scared driving by herself now. I’m considering talking to her mom about therapy because if anyone can get her to go it would be her
And since you read and commented you’ll be joining me, right? ?
Cool and I'm okay with everything you've just said but here's my question. Is it too much to ask her to not bring her along any time we are hanging out.
I don't actively go and try and hang out with Kate. She basically just tags along with Lucy. Surely asking her not to always be bringing her bff alongs is much better than this ghosting game I'm being made to do.
Ranch + nude sauce? So Buffalo sauce? Putting Buffalo sauce on chicken is pretty normal.
“bUt THat'S NOt ReAl BufFalO”
It gives me vibes of her having feelings for her gay bff. He's gay and she won't ever have more than she has now, but she's so enmeshed in that crap, she'll never have a full relationship with someone else. This guy will always get in the way until she changes it.
It gives me vibes of her having feelings for her gay bff. He's gay and she won't ever have more than she has now, but she's so enmeshed in that crap, she'll never have a full relationship with someone else. This guy will always get in the way until she changes it.
“Males” are half of the world population. It's impossible that you won't run into or interact with one your whole life. Yes, your jealousy is self sabotaging the relationship. Those interactions are nothing as far as I can tell. I suggest you work on your insecurities.
Way too fast, big red flag. People move this fast when they wanna lock you down. Once you’re locked down they can start showing their true colors. Not saying that’s what’s happening here,I just can’t think of what else it might be.
he made some bad financial choices in the past and he's still trying to correct them
Seems like his poor choices are not just financial, but extend to other areas of his life. And why online with someone if you refuse to marry them?
Have you considered that he wasn’t comfortable sending you photos because it felt like cheating on HER? Yeah.
You end it. This is a shitty fairytale:
You are letting yourself be taken advantage of, and you are not in a prison. Your husband will never change. You are free to online your life as you want, nobody can stop you.
You glossed over your ex’s abuse. Makes him sound like he’s in the right.
You glossed over your ex’s abuse. Makes him sound like he’s in the right.
Maybe it would be better off if you didn't go through your partners phone reading their messages? People in glass houses and all that, eh?
Did you have a discussion first?
You say that in your culture the girl's family need to assess the older man to make sure he's OK. Doesn't that imply that the girl is too young and inexperienced to date someone older?
She had dated them before and the longest time she dated one of them was for 2 months and they never had sex. But they are really close to her and she wants me to meet them and possibly be close to them too.
This relationship is unsustainable.
He expects you to be his exclusive FWB and is using that to keep you from dating anybody else. The exclusive FWB thing is just dating while lying to yourselves about lowering your commitments to each other while not aligning expectations.
Well she was a very intensive texter. We talked first time for like 9 hours strait. So total maybe 16 + hours 2 days worth. I know short, but it felt longer
Thanks for the answer.
Truth is, I didn't see it as something rushed that time. I also realized that maybe that's it, we've broken up twice and I honestly find myself reaching out to her. We also spoke about our issues before we got bsck together for the third time. Her trust issues, my issues with how I tend to be super busy with a lot of stuff (work, advocacy, people) and tried to make sure we really know what we're signing up for for the third time.