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Model from:
Languages: es,en
Birth Date: 1998-03-26
Body Type: bodyTypeCurvy
Ethnicity: ethnicityLatino
Hair color: hairColorColorful
Eyes color: eyeColorBrown
Subculture: subcultureGlamour
im scared thats all
It is very VERY common to cope with trauma by trying to have a positive relationship with the perpetrator in order to subconsciously I guess make the trauma feel less like trauma. I’m not explaining this well but I promise you that you are not the only one by a long shot who has had that reaction and there is nothing wrong with you or bad about you. No one gives you a manual for coping with a traumatic event and sometimes you just do the best you can, even if it doesn’t make sense to other people. Your brain is trying to take care of you, it just didn’t know how to do that and went on panic mode.
I’m very sorry about what happened though and if you haven’t gone to therapy I would recommend. You have absolutely nothing to feel ashamed about and you haven’t done anything wrong. There’s a lot of interesting stuff about there about trauma reactions and it might help you to look into it.
Her birthday is coming up, and she made a list of things I should buy her, like airpods, a bookshelf, nice jeans, an ipad, and new shoes.
That's like 5 years worth of gifts for most people. If she needs those things I think she's capable of buying them herself since she's making the big bucks now.
Leave.
Tell her that you deserve better than to be abused, defamed, and cheated on.