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Talk to your dad and confirm to yourself this is what has been going on before blowing him up to your mom. Yeah, it looks bad and I can’t think of a reason for your dad to be searching female escort sites but sometimes weird shit happens and there may be a reason for it outside of cheating. It’s always better to confirm before dropping the bomb.
Talk to him about it, not us. We can’t know what’s going through his head. Asking him to talk about sex boundaries and letting him about your needs is by no means disrespectful.
You have two options: Wait for her to be ready, or decide that this isn’t for you and move on.
You can’t change people.
Don’t ever have a family with an illogical and angry/emotional man. Horrible for both you and the kids.