We (32f) emotionally cheated many physically cheated on my husband (30m)

I am already feeling just like a pos so if you come to our post to pile on myself just know that you cannot make me feel worse than what I am feeling.

I have been with my bf for 4 years right now, married for 1 . We dated casually before him but I had one severe relationship and that was with my ex. We were collectively for 6 years before he or she broke up with me saying he or she didnt want to get married and have kids. And I will admit there were unresolves feelings on my side for a long time. Anyways I met my husband 4 years after that and inside a month we knew it was going to be a long term partnership because we had so much chemistry and our goals plus morals matched. We dated for 3 years and then got married in December last year. And I can unequivocally say that I am happy.

I got in touch with our ex around 2 several weeks back when we both were in the wedding celebration of a mutual friend. We didnt talk much that day yet against my better reasoning we exchanged social media details and kept in touch. Worst decision of my life. All of us talked a lot as I has been still harboring some emotions of inadequacy since he or she was married with a child now although he particularly broke up with me because he didnt want that. But he said he wasnt happy in his relationship and I confess it gave me a sense of fulfillment. We kept talking and eventually expressed an interest in seeing me. And just like a dumbass I agreed.

He was visiting our city this week and informed me which hotel he had been staying in. I went to see him in his room yet as soon as I rang the particular bell I knew what a big mistake I was making. I hardly spent 2-3 minutes in the room just before I ran out of presently there. I know its not believable but its 100% true, I actually I never did everything physical with him. I use blocked him on every platform and blocked his number. I feel like a part of shit for what I did to my husband.

The reason I made this post happens because I am yet to concede this to my husband and am am scared that if I actually confess then my marriage will end. I feel lots of guilt whenever I take a look at him as he has never been less than an amazing partner to me. Yet I also dont want to lose him. Please advice me Reddit.

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