UPDATE(repost): I(26M) found out that my GF(26F) was an Adult video actress and it made things really complicated.
I actually posted this update before but idk it was deleted without any reasons. So reposting this again.
The original post https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/z4dn2v/i26m_found_out_that_my_gf26f_was_an_adult_video/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf
I am genuinely sorry for my reaction. I acted in a way I believed to be right. No I’m not justifying my actions after I left the room, when i could clearly hear crying. I was not thinking it with a clear mind but now i do. No matter what we do afterwards, but that was not supposed to be the way, i should treat her after she trusted me with such information of her life and I realise that and genuinely I’m very ashamed of myself. I’m not usually a man like this, thank you everyone and i hope you all can forgive me.
I’m also sorry for “i don’t know why I’m feeling guilty, when it should be her feeling it”. I’m honestly not proud of the line i said. I now understand what she meant, when she said she trust me. She wanted support, care and love from me after she shared her past and I reacted completely opposite of it.
There was a comment of a lady who also lost her whole family very early, if you are reading this i thank you so much. I was just saying she has gone through a lot but i never really understood it. She was 21 when shot the videos and I didn’t know her situation at that time, so its not right to judge someone who’s had completely opposite childhood from me. I never had any problems growing up, i was provided every thing i needed, so obviously i was not able to relate with it and act accordingly. Again I’m not justifying my mistakes.
So we talked after work. And it went well. I’m not going with every detail of the talk. She was hurt, her eyes say it. I apologised and explained everything. She broke down after that but this time i was there to hug her and to tell her that it was her past and I’m okay with it. I love her for the person she is now and the fact that she opened up to me out of all the people she’s been with shows how much she trust me and I’ll not betray her trust again. We talked more after that, I confessed to her that it was a little uncomfortable after watching the videos but there’s so much more good memories that we made with each other. The way she reacted to the situation shows her maturity and patience again. I am truly lucky. And yes, she expected a better reaction but she also knew the possibility that I would react differently. Well the good news is that we are now on the same page, and she has forgiven me. Although, I’m still ashamed of myself to hurt this beautiful women. After that we cuddled and we both were laughing. So i think it went well. Now I’m in the bed beside her writing this, she’s asleep, she had gone through a lot today so probably she should take a nice nap.
We got up and had dinner. I thought of posting it an hour ago but i think there are some comments on the last post that i want to clarify:
1) NO, she didn’t enjoy that part of her life. She is completely a different person now. I also found out that she went to therapy after that. She has no social media, she likes a simple life and that’s one of the reason i fell for her. She is a very real person.
2) Yeah we both understand that 8 months is a very small time to decide marriage and all. But one of the things we decided to have is an early family. She loves children and is very good handling them. I know she will be a good mother. Please understand that we are not rushing things here, we are in a good position financially so we thought about it. But there’s a lot to discuss about this.
3) And yes we will be going to therapy.
4) There were a lot of Dm’s after the last post and more than half of it are asking her stage name and similar things. Many actually wrote really disgusting things. Think about your life losers. Well again it doesn’t even matter.
Apart from the hate, i also got some really good advice and I genuinely want to you all. It’s funny that how a bunch of strangers actually help you to realise things. Thank you everyone. (Last post was removed but it was preserved or something like that, im not very familiar with Reddit. So if this post gets removed too, you can find both the post on my profile, it will be there and i wont delete it, have a nice one)
Want to add this:
Although I value all of your important concerns, I am confident in my abilities. I gave it some thought and did what I felt was right; I'm pleased with the outcome. I'm aware that it will always be available live! and that anyone attempting to discover it will be able to do so, but that doesn't mean I will be frightened to act in accordance with what is right, what I want, and what we both desire.
