UP-DATE: My (38M) wife (35F) has been ignoring me since our son was born and it’s been 10 years.
So , a week has past since my initial post.
My (38M) wife (35F) has been ignoring me since our son was born and it’s been 10 years.
by inrelationship_advice
I (38M) wasn' t sure about posting an update most people asked so right here I am. Again, sorry regarding my bad english.
Weekend I contacted an old buddy of mine. He is a divorce attorney and I booked an appointment for Tuesday to ask for recommendation. I asked my employer for a week off, quickly explaining the situation, and he decided.
I spent Sunday away with Mike. We took a visit to a lake nearby, used a ball and spent some quality time together. Lots of people in the comments of the initial post suggested that my own and my wife (35F) ' s behavior and that he may misunderstand how a loving couple should be, so I decided to talk to him. I asked your pet few questions. Among these types of was “What do you think like is? “.
His answer comforted and saddened me at the same time: ” Adore is what you and mom feel for me and what grandpa plus grandma feel for each other. “. I think this answer hurt me more than basically was stabbed. The good thing is which he knows what a loving relationship is definitely. The sad thing is that he doesn' t believe me and Andrea really like each other.
I tried not really looking sad or concerned in front of him but inside I was a mess. We returned to my mother' s house and my mother took care of him for the rest of your day.
Monday I basically do nothing. I bawled my eyes in bed and thought about what I should do. My mother offered me some space and required care of Mike in my stead. She brought him to school, picked him upward and taught him methods to cook an omelette as well as how to play Scala 40.
Andrea called and texted a few time. She wanted to talk to Mike and asked when we would come home but I actually didn' t answer.
Tuesday I brought Mike in order to school and went to the particular appointment with the attorney. We asked him few questions about divorce procedure, asked how things turn out generally ( apparently I was depressed in my original post. ) and asked for advices in general. I spent the rest of the day preparing what to say to Andrea.
Wednesday was the day. I actually left Mike with my mother ( Andrea' s parents came to visit as well and stayed for dinner, so I' m sure Paul had fun. ).
I proceeded to go home and waited pertaining to Andrea to come back from work. When she arrived, I actually asked her to take a seat and to not interrupt myself for the next few minutes. I actually tried to stick to the speech I needed prepared because I understood I would have not been able to state everything I wanted to say.
We told her how I felt like the girl didn' t love me personally anymore, how I felt like for her I was more of a hassle than the man she adored.
I talked about her habit of taking Paul out and turning off her phone, basically disappearing for hours. She tried to say again that it wasn' t an issue but I stopped her and told her that it was an enormous problem: yes, if something happened to Mike, the lady could call me but what would have happened in the event that something happened to her or the both of them? We asked her if she truly believed that a ten years old would have been able to stay calm and call me if they had a car accident and he or she was injured? They would have been in danger and I wouldn' big t have known where they were.
I mentioned few more things, then took away the divorce papers. The lady started crying and attempted to convince me that we can fix our relationship. It had been a tough moment. I reminded her that that wasn' t the first time I had mentioned our problems and that I had been trying to fix them regarding 10 years, while she kept insisting everything was fine. I told her to think about her parents' relationship and it was impossible to not have noticed we weren' t such as them, a loving few. I told her I am sure the girl always knew we had problems and simply didn' t care enough to try and solve all of them. I told her that so what happened on our anniversary was the final straw. I had spent several weeks recreating our first time and when she saw the result she wasn' t impressed or even curios, she has been annoyed and irritated.
I actually told her that before that incident, I would have agreed to try couple therapy but that now I believe few therapy is for people who wants to repair things and she clearly certainly not wanted to do it and I have stopped wanting to.
I informed her I wanted 50/50 custody of Mike and she agreed. The girl asked me to wait for a few weeks before talking to Paul about our divorce ( until after his birthday) and I told her that I had been ok with waiting but that will Mike already knew we had problems and that he understood the situation more than she believed.
It' s been 3 days since and, while inside I' m today in a weird state exactly where I know I should be a clutter inside but instead I am savoring a short period of calmness plus peace of mind.
Friday Mike and am have gone back home and I spent most of the week with him, while Andrea is currently staying at her parents for the weekend. For the next few weeks she will sleep in our visitor room, while she look for somewhere else to stay.
I want to thank everyone of you meant for reading and giving me advice, both her and in the original post. On-line long and prosper, my friends.
TLDR: I confronted my wife. All of us decided to divorce. Me plus Mike are back home.
