The (37M) wife’s (34F) cousin (29F) tried to kiss me and now my wife is spiraling. Help me.
Sorry for how long this really is, tl; dr at the bottom. Since the title says, my wife’s sister made a move at me at a latest family gathering and I have no idea what to do. For context, I believe my wife “Jenna” is absolutely gorgeous but she has some actually negative body image issues. This is in large part because of her sister “Mary” who is very traditionally attractive, as opposed to Jenna’s more unconventional but (imo) striking beauty. Mary was a prosperous model until a couple in years past and now works in the fashion industry. In our early days associated with dating when I would tell Jenna she’s beautiful, she would always say “just wait until you see my sister”. When I did finally meet up with her family, she would randomly press me for weeks to talk about her sister, whether or not I thought she was more appealing than her, etc . I usually told her the truth, that I think Mary is attractive in a dull way, and that I think my wife is much more beautiful and interesting to look at. She wouldn’t overlook it until I confronted her about how uncomfortable it made me and asked the girl what was going on. This is when the girl told me that she constantly had a chip on her glenohumeral joint about her looks because of being compared with her sister growing up. They fell into the classic “smart one/pretty one” dynamic their whole lifestyles. She also said Mary had a habit of being sexy with all of her exes, and warned me that it would happen to me eventually. She then started sobbing plus begging me to not cheat on her with her cousin, to which I forcefully mentioned I would never cheat on her behalf with anyone, let alone her sister. I’ve been crazy about my wife since day 1 and there’s literally simply no woman on earth who could come close to her.
We honestly didn’t believe her about the flirting at first, I actually assumed it was just an extension of her insecurity, but I was wrong. Whenever we get together with my wife’s family members, Mary always finds ways to touch me and make little innuendos/comments about me or my body. It’s super uncomfortable for everyone, especially my wife, and I’ve called the girl out on it before. She’ll cool it for a while but eventually start doing it once again. It’s been six many years of this, and every time it happens my wife is upset for days and I have to do a lot of reassuring.
Onto the current problem. A few days ago we were at my MIL’s birthday party, and Mary asked me to help her grab some things from your garage. As soon as we wandered into the garage, she switched and pressed me facing the door with her entire body and started trying to kiss me. I immediately pressed her off and inquired her what the fuck she was doing. She started giggling and saying the girl was just “doing what we both have been thinking” and kept insisting “you know you want to”. I told her she was out of the girl mind and ran out of there. I went straight to my wife and told her i was leaving. The whole ride house she was asking myself what was wrong, I was not sure whether to tell her because I knew just how much it was going to hurt yet I also thought Mary would probably try to spin it since me making a move on the girl so I knew I had to just say it. I informed her everything and she cried the whole way home.
For the last various days Mary has been calling and texting my wife doing exactly what I thought she would perform, even telling my wife that I said she (Mary) was “the hottest girl I have ever seen”, which I needed to assure my wife a million occasions that I did not and would never say even though she believes my account of the situation. She’s been a complete damage the last several days, she’s hardly eating, she drags away from my touch while i try to hug her or simply hold her hand, the girl says she feels “hideous” and “disgusting” and I don’t know what to do. This is the lowest I have ever seen her, plus it hurts to see how much she’s hurting. I have no idea how to proceed to help her heal using this. Reddit, what should I do?
Tl; dr: My wife’s sister tried to kiss me personally, and this is triggering deep-set body image insecurities for my spouse. How do I help her?
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