Should I (25M) tell my girlfriend (21F) that I’m dumping her for a lack of sex? Should I give her the chance to change?
I've been dating this girl who I really enjoy hanging out with. Our personalities click really well, she's cool, she's funny, we have a fun time together. She's super into me and very affectionate, and she tells me all the time, which is nice.
There's only one problem: she refuses to make the move to sex, we've never had it. There's no religious reasons, and she isn't one of the people who refuses sex before marriage, but it seems she wants to take things much, much slower than I'd want, as she's a virgin and has never been with a man before. It started OK, I'm not inpatient, but we're approaching a point where it's too much. We're monogamous, so I can't get sex from anywhere else, and given it's been several months, my high libido is just making things increasingly unpleasant.
I respect differing approaches to sex, whether you're saving your virginity for marriage, or fucking a dozen men a week. If this was a poly relationship, or an open one, I'd have no problem waiting. But given I can't have sex anywhere, and given I'm a man who very much enjoys sex, it's getting to be a bit much. She's very sweet and kind, very special, but I have needs that are just left unsatisfied.
Now, there's a problem, about whether I should give her a chance to change her mind. Normally, I'd of course do that for a problem. If my girlfriend kept refusing to do chores, I'd talk to her about it and give her a chance to change before we got to the dumping point. The thing is, I worry that “Have sex with me, or we break up” is a pretty gross, pushy and creepy ultimatum to give someone, so I was thinking it'd just be better to make an excuse and be done with it.
