Partner (32M) belittled me regarding my (31M) salary in front of a huge group of his coworkers and friends
“Henry” and I are together for about 10 several weeks. We rarely have arguments, and when they do happen they' re usually about diverging tastes in movies, food, etc .
One thing is he' s a little weird regarding money. He' s the talented software engineer that has been making big money since he graduated college, yet he was a first-gen student with an immigrant background and always had to work actually very hot. So as a result he or she is still very thrifty plus anal about money.
I on the other hand had a normal center class upbringing with 2 public schoolteacher parents. Nevertheless , I graduated with a humanities degree and for several years I used to be making no more than ~$60k. Over the past couple of years I managed to revolves into tech and just recently landed an $85k/year developer position which I am very excited and happy about naturally.
Anyway, Wednesday Henry had a big get-together at his house for his birthday (which is tomorrow). There must have been 25-30 people there and I knew not many of them. At one point we were all in his living room and he wanted to do a round-robin introduction thing. We were meant to say our name, what we should do, and one interesting truth about ourselves.
when it came to my turn, I launched myself, mentioning that I has been Henry' s BF and that I was about to start a brand new job. I had had a few drinks and kind of overshared that I was excited since it was a big pay lump. Obviously I didn' t say the amount. But suddenly Henry interjects with: “Don' t get ahead of your self honey, it' s nevertheless only 85k! Hahahaha. ”
I was completely taken aback and stunned and just handed down it onto the next person. I couldn' t believe he would call out our salary in front of a huge group of mostly strangers, most of whom were software people who most likely make double what I' ll be making. I didn' t bring it up and also have no idea if I should. A few friends told me I need to loosen up and not even think of getting it up until at least after his birthday, if at all. Yet what he said deeply offended, hurt, and embarrassed me and I want him to know that. Thoughts?
