My (29m) fiancee (28F) is showing real weird signs after 5 years of being together. These are some out of the blue red flags in my opinion and I wanted to get some outside input on these situations to see if I’m just being overly sensitive. Long one but please hear me out.
So we got engaged and bought a house in 2022. Things were going ok really in terms of no issues.
But recently this year she's been going on about how her friend's partner buys her all of these expensive designer bags and goes on about how can he even afford them, and she wishes she had them. The way she's wording it though and voicing it it feels like she's saying “why don't you buy me things like that”. I've asked her why she brings it up all the time and acts disappointed and she said because she'd like them. I've said well you're not going to get that from me because we have a lot more to pay for and saving up for a wedding next year. She's mentioned it at least every week since the start of the year and my response is always the same.
Then she says she's joined a brides to be group on Facebook and starts going on about how big their diamonds are on the ring, again seemingly being passive aggressive on how “small” hers is. Even though it's a 0.8 with halo which equates to a total weight of 1, which i wouldn't mind was a hefty price. Then when i mentioned that her ring was all I could afford she was like yeah well they look stupid that big anyway…. obviously just trying to deflect.
Also we said we wasn't doing any cards or anything for Valentine's Day and she came home with a printed one from paint. I'm not bothered by that but then she was like where's my card. So I explained that we wasn't doing cards like we said so didn't get one. I did actually get her a card but was just having a joke with her as we do that sometimes, but she instantly got in a mood and wouldn't talk to me.
Anyway, i went upstairs and got her card and give it to her and she changed her tune, i cooked her 3 course meal, went to the shop and bought her some drinks because she wanted something else to drink and then near the end of the night she was like go and do a cup of tea. So, I said no you go and do it and she had a big hissy fit over it.
I then said “I dropped you at a far away train station this morning cause your train was cancelled, picked you up after work from the train station, cooked you a three course meal, went the shop and got you what you wanted and you can't even get up and make us BOTH a cup of tea” she was like oh yeah fine I will do, but then changed the subject. I went to sleep and realised she didn't make me a cup of tea.
I know it's trivial but i feel like I'm genuinely taken for granted and what I'm doing is either not good enough or she just doesn't care. Like i go out of my way when she needs me and she couldn't even make me a cup of tea on Valentines day when all she gave me was some card made on paint?
Now I've realised this I'm just looking back this past year and seeing how much i get taken for granted. Even though she says she loves me she doesn't really show it apart from wanting a hug and a kiss. Outside of that she doesn't actually do anything around the house or even cook.
Maybe I'm being dramatic but we've just put a non-refundable deposit on our wedding which is going to total 16-18K for next year and I'm just worried that in a years time she's going to be a much different person. Since like i said, these are out the blue comments and actions
