My (25F) boyfriend (28m) says my boundary is controlling
My (25f) boyfriend (28M) says my boundary of not wanting to be with someone who goes to strip clubs is controlling. I’ve explained to him several times that my ex of 3 years had multiple relations with several strippers, and as such it is a very hot limit. He said he is grown man, and he can do whatever he wants and doesn’t have to follow the rules of someone else. I said I agree, you’re absolutely allowed to do whatever you want, but I won’t be in a relationship with someone who cannot put my feelings over seeing another woman naked/getting a lap dance. I told him this before things even got serious with us, and he said he didn’t want to go to one anyways, so it was fine and he understood. Now all of a sudden, I’m trying to control him. I don’t think I am. I never said “you’re not allowed to go to a strip club,” I said it was a boundary of mine, and if it is something he feels he needs to do, then we can just go our separate ways. It wasn’t even a threat, because we weren’t even serious. He brought it up a few days ago, that he wants to go for his friend’s birthday. I reminded him of my boundary, that he agreed to because we became exclusive, and he told me that his boundary was not to be with someone who controls him.
I said “I’m not trying to control you, but if that’s a boundary for you, that’s fine and we can end things now. My boundary will not change.” He replied that he doesn’t want to end things. And I just reiterated that he can’t go to a strip club and also have me. It’s just a naked boundary I don’t foresee myself ever going back on. I feel like he is trying to push me to throw my boundary out the window, but I know for a fact I won’t feel good about it. We’ve only been together for 6 months, so at this point I really think it would just be less of a headache of cut things off. I care about him, but I’m not interested in being a “cool” girlfriend who pretends I’m totally fine with something I find extremely disrespectful. He thinks I’m being irrational, I think it’s kind of messed up he is trying to push against something, again, I warned him about before agreeing to be his girlfriend. Thoughts?
TLDR: Boyfriend wants to go to a strip club against my hard boundary, but doesn’t want to break up to do so, and says I just shouldn’t be controlling.