Found out guy (33M) I’m (30F) dating doesn’t date women over thirty. Is this the red flag or am I actually overreacting?
I met “Mark” about a month and a half ago (maybe? ) at the gym. He contacted me at the smoothie club and we hit it off. We' ve been seeing each other fairly often since then. We have a lot in common and he seems like a good guy. The day after Christmas he asked me to be exclusive with him. I thought it was a little sudden yet all my friends always rib me for coming away as an ice queen plus uninterested when dating mainly because I want to go so slow. I' ve always been hyper-analytical and never someone to take a danger without thoroughly thinking it through, but one of the claims I made to myself after i turned 30 was that I might be more spontaneous and get more chances. Anyway, I actually said yes but now I' m wondering if I should' ve stuck to what I understand and slowed down.
On our initial date, he made the comment about how it was nice to finally meet someone IRL and not on an application or something. I sensed the same and mentioned I' d been on joint. Turns out, he is also on hinge. We started talking about how it was so amusing that we' d certainly not come across each other on the application before and I asked to see his profile wondering if maybe I had swiped past him somehow. So , we pulled up our profiles and swapped phones. His profile seemed totally normal and attractive. I probably would' ve swiped on him. When he was looking at mine, he made some sort of comment being amazed that I was 30 and that I looked much young. I' ve always become comments about looking just a little younger than my age so I didn' t believe anything of it at the time.
I hadn' t thought about those people comments much until a few days ago when Mark asked me to his friends' NYE party. I hadn' t met his close friends before but they were most very nice and welcoming. Almost all his friends also appeared like they were in their thirties plus their partners seemed age appropriate. The night went on and everyone got pretty intoxicated. The guys seem like the type exactly who like to tease and cloth on their friends lovingly and finally they started teasing Mark. They started making comments about how exactly they couldn' t believe ' Leo' (no one particular clarified but I' meters assuming this is a joking play name related to Leonardo DiCaprio) has been finally dating an ' older woman' and it was ' about time he increased up'. They made a lot of comments about it (in the teasing way toward him, not me) and the feel I got was that they simply thought it was a amusing quirk of his that he only dated younger females.
I didn' t respond at the party because I didn' t want to bring things down for the whole group, but at breakfast the very next day I kinda pressed him on this. He seemed to think I was joking at first and sorta just rolled his eyes. I kept pressing and leading the conversation and eventually he admitted that he' d never went out with a woman in her thirties, thought I was 24ish when he approached me, and had his hinge profile restricted to women 26 and lower. When he saw I had been not super positive concerning this, he immediately started informing me how great he thought I was and that' s he not that will serious about the age thing, and how he really saw an upcoming with me. I let it go with breakfast because I wasn' t quite sure could was feeling.
I' ve been brewing on it for a couple days now and I think it' s given me the ick. I don' big t think dating a young person is inherently poor but when you actively won' t date someone who is at minimum your own age and have a new pattern of exclusively dating younger people, I think it' s kinda weird. Much more me think he probably has some really gross concepts about women and aging. I mean, I may look 20s-ish in order to him now but how about when aging catches as much as me as it inevitably will certainly?
I talked to my buddies and they agreed it' t a red flag, but I know our little group can often be a bit of an echo holding chamber. He is nice, clean, and has a good job. I also would certainly feel weird breaking up with somebody after only a week, however, I just feel totally unattracted to him now. Am We being totally crazy or even is this valid to get creeped out over?
