[22M] [20F] boyfriend seems to have such a low pain tolerance it’s affecting our relationship
My boyfriend has a low pain tolerance to physical pain and many things.
For example a baby was in a restaurant with two parents and when they started crying and screaming, he started huffing and saying that it was hurting his ears and making it bleed and it apparently ruined our whole date night.
He accidentally ran his toe into the edge of the sofa and than said we had to cancel our plans for the rest of the day. A neighbor’s dog started barking outside so we didn’t even go to the movies.
At some point it felt to me the smallest things would seem to hurt him. But a lot of it is inevitable such as crying children. I don’t want to seem like I’m brushing his pain off and disregarding it because I do care.
But some of it seems like an overreaction. Like oh this child is screaming so we’re not going to continue our evening plans. Or I hurt my finger slightly I am going to cancel plans.
I can understand if it was a great big injury like I accidentally grazed my hand while cutting vegetables. First I get tired of having to constantly comfort him over the smallest things, like I literally have to pat his back while he covers his ears because someone’s crying. Then when he starts sobbing because of some slight pain I have to comfort him while he’s on the couch.
It’s just getting a little exhausting honestly, and the fact that he uses it to his advantage to get out of things like doing the dishes, because he has a small paper cut on his hand just bothers me. I go through a lot of things too as I’m a kitchen manager so when I burn myself or drop something on me I don’t let that affect him.
I’m only seeing it from my side so I would like some thoughts or similar experiences.
Edit: He told me that supposedly he’s been having this issue his whole life for many years now. He has this family doctor he’s been seeing since he was young, and despite everything he’s tried to get help for there’s been no improvement.
I don’t know if there’s more to his medical issues than he is telling me, but we on-line together so I have to deal with it when he is experiencing it.
And yes I’m burnt out, tired, just no longer finding myself wanting to engage in our relationship anymore. He’s picked up on it because he can tell I’ve changed even though I try not to show it. It’s exhausting having to cater to someone every day or week.
Like canceling plans, changing them, constantly. Not only that, but so much more. The weird thing is he doesn’t act like this in front of his family or friends. So I don’t get why it’s just me that has to be the only one to put up with it.
