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Bitty&TheBeast ?, 22 y.o.
Location: North Carolina, United States
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There is clearly not enough information to make that case. I think simple communication could resolve this.
you have been dating for 4 years, your 25 and he is 30, your both out of college.
if he isn't ready to marry you now, he probably never will be.
you said you got into a huge fight, over what exactly? and why. how did it escalate to a huge fight exactly?. a conversation doesn't just escalate to an argument on its own, someone raised their volume level & changed their tone, who did that first?
are you two that in-capable of sitting down together and talking about the tough & serious stuff together? does one person always turn the conversation into yelling and arguing, who is that, you or him?
sit down and have a real conversation together, actually listen to what he says that makes him Not ready, is there some type of goal or thing he wants to achieve/complete.
completing college or eliminating a huge amount of debt or resolving back taxes are a few i can think of as reasons to delay marriage, and even then, not a reason to delay the proposal, just the marriage.
him leaving for a few days because he cannot have an adult conversation is a massive red flag. either your not letting him talk or your not listening to exactly what he says, what his concerns are and how he feels about it, or he is immature and incapable of even having that conversation, which in itself is your answer.