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I know it's hard but I really think you should leave this guy… He sounds like a ticking time bomb.
I know the financials are difficult, and it's hot to find support when you don't have family. But I would try to find a way.
I’m not a women so I might be talking shit but wouldn’t you feel safer meeting the guy at a baseball game then a club. Like at a club the objective is to either just hang out with your friends or pick up women. At a baseball game the guy with some interests outside girls and is just there to enjoy the game alone and he hit it off with her. He wasn’t hoping he’d pick a girl it’s just a bonus. This feels like one of those encounters my female friends dream about like meeting a charming guy randomly in the day and hitting it off.
My uncle used to drink maybe two or three drinks and become violent during a blackout. He actually beat me up once and he is not normally a violent person. Maybe you shouldn’t drink.
OP, one day you are going to look back on this relationship and realize you were groomed. Our brains don’t fully form until we are 24-25 years old. We are not fully capable of seeing the nuances of a situation like this until we get old enough for our brains to fully process them.
This man is clearly a fucking creep and asshole. And honestly? It really sounds like he has been cheating on you since you got pregnant and your body changed. That is probably why he is being so harsh and defensive.
It is over. Please don’t ever look back. He is going to try to convince you to stay. Don’t do it. Don’t waste any more of your life on someone who would treat you like this. You deserve so much more.
I didn't do his Master's thesis – he had a year to do it and I urged him to work at every turn possible, but he ended up writing it in about 2 weeks out of which I did 4 full days of work on it. I didn't write it, but I helped with all the other editing and the diagrams and stuff which was a considerable amount in and of itself. I am seeing a therapist already to figure this out.
Your gf is the one who seems immature. Who gets annoyed about you not seeing her phone ring? So weird.
Her bringing other people into your arguments is also immature. Getting advice is one thing but telling a friend about every silly disagreement is a recipe for relationship disaster. I'm a woman and I find her behaviour insanely immature for a 29 year old. I wouldn't date a woman like that if I was a guy
You know you could make a scrapbook. And you could even do like a Christmas page every year with pictures of all the presents under the trees and maybe like each individual person with their presence and front of them?
OP, it’s not all immediately or nothing. You can break up with him but give him some additional time or notice to move out, maybe a few additional months; or you could help in other ways while he’s looking for a place (maybe help watch the kids or something). It sounds like his lifestyle isn’t for you and this is a MASSIVE incompatibility which will only get way worse with time. If that’s not the life you want to live!, you can be creative and kind while still finding ways to end the relationship as amicably as possible.
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You will survive. It’s not life threatening. You aren’t a child
Gross.
The only way he will ever want you is if he can’t have you. This guy is playing you and will continue to do so until you make it stop. He used you and when his girlfriend (ex) came back he tossed you to the curb. The few texts you did get were called breadcrumbs. What you allow this guy to get away with is what you will get. He puts forth minimal effort. Know your worth. He’s not worth your time .
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Gotcha
Totally depends on how the breakup went. I sure as shit would know I’m screwing over my ex though. If I was cool with that, then yes I’d go through with it. If I didn’t want to hurt my ex, I would say no.
Yeah maybe, I think a relationship is about balance, both parties have to contribute in an equal manner. If you just provide everything like in traditional roles some decades ago you'll just be taken for that role. Live! with a partner don't online for them.
He's giving his time and affection to women who are shitting on his relationship and his girlfriend. It's his problem.
A what a nice childish an unhealthy behaviour. Would be a reason to really think about the relationship for me ..
You guys have been a couple for 7 years ? You should be a team… that just sounds toxic tbh
My advice is you bring up that your wife is gay at the next session.
Spray a ton of air freshener next time and see what he says.
It's deleted.
Why do you need a label? Enjoy your time together and go from there. Time will help both of you sort things out.
Mine does this all the time. I don’t mind at all. She sends me hard pics every so often. I’m happy she’s happy with herself. At the same time I hope she isn’t sending pics to someone else ?
To be fair, a diary is not a manifesto. It’s just a way of processing feelings as they come. Imagine if someone could read your mind and know all your intrusive thoughts? And then they believed those thoughts were your true intentions.
Just because you write something in a diary doesn’t mean you intend to do it. It’s just what your mind was thinking at the moment. That’s why it’s so invasive to read someone’s diary.
How has this not been talked about in the 16 years you’ve known her?
Whenever I hear these stories, or see people explain how it’s totally normal and in fact, healthier to shower once or twice a week, I always wonder if they ever exercise. Even the people who claim they “don’t really sweat.” I’m sorry, but if you are getting an appropriate amount of exercise and not showering after, I assure you….you absolutely smell terrible and you simply cannot smell yourself anymore. Even a daily long-ish walk will have you smelling ripe in certain places. Period.
You don’t. You move on. Don’t messenger. If you’re gonna date, get comfortable with ambiguity and no closure.
It probably doesn't feel as satisfying because it's not the real thing. My wife and I before we got married had a LDR. I'd go see her every so often, but for the times we were apart we'd try some stuff over the phone. She was never into it because it wasn't the same as being together. When I'd go visit her and we'd do it for real, it was so much better. Even if it didn't last that long. It was more personal as we could actually touch each other. IRL sex is so much better. I wouldn't even worry about it.
I think I’m going to work on getting a new degree (I have tuition waiver for working full time in this school), so I can leave down the line. Meanwhile, I will try to minimize contact without getting him suspicious (though, it may not be needed since I’m feeling he’ll distance himself again), and gather some background support and see if I can do this in the least drama possible. Thank you for the sound advice.
I believe, if used properly, porn is just a sex tool, just like sexy lingerie, sex toys, sex games, whatever.
>I believe brain don’t differentiate between porn sex and real sex since it brings similar stimulation.
Got a source for your beliefs?
>I am planning to have a final discussion with my boyfriend over this topic and tell him this is a dealbreaker for me. I don’t know if I am being unreasonable.
Some men, and some women don't like porn in a relationship. Or some don't like certain types of porn. If it's a boundary for you, then break up with him. Otherwise, continue the relationship.
Dear, why did you marry him. You saw this crappy behavior BEFORE walking down the aisle. It only gets worse after marriage.
If that's her motive, because she's lonely, and your youth symbolises a lack of life experience and awareness.
You dont have to be a present father to get lumped with child support
My partner and I must be rare.
We joke about our junk often, neither of us gives a shit.
I understand the suspicion. I will say, she's been absolutely wonderful otherwise, and it's only at this serious point of conversation that she even brought it up.
She insists on call me her boyfriend, loves to cuddle and kiss, gets flustered easily… She's too naive and innocent to have an ulterior motive other than concern.
I agree this stunt was manipulation
Yes, they absolutely can. No means no. My ex husband changed after 3 yrs. That was the real him, not the front I saw prior.
I'd recommend connecting with him on LinkedIn.
There are a million non 9-5 options that aren’t illegal, he doesn’t have to contribute to a retirement fund if he elects not to, and, unless he’s growing or cooking up his own stuff, he’s absolutely still working for someone. Basically, he’s either dumb or making any excuse he can to torpedo his progress toward a productive future.
I would make one suggestion for your agreement. As far as the house goes, if you ever sell the house first split the proceeds up paying each of your investment back first and then splitting the rest evenly. The reason is any work or improvements to the house will fall on both of you and you will likely do the lions share of the maintenance. So let’s say you sell for $300,000. You get your $80,000 back and she gets $160,000 back and you split the $60,000 at $30,000 each.
Are you trolling me? Is that really what you took from all that? Holy shit.
Now i have heard it all. Your “ex” is psycho.
Damn yeah that's kinda rapey since you didn't know if it was actually him.
I'm also chiming in to express my annoyance at your husband (and others) who don't consider adoption as a viable form of raising kids.
There's millions of lives who could be saved yet we always bring in millions more.
Sometimes we forget what's saved on our phones. These were pictures of half-naked girls also. Does he have a laptop, desktop, or cloud you want to clean up too? He probably wasn't going back every few days and reminiscing.
Yeah I think I'll try to bring it up that way. Thank you, I really appreciate it.
As for my mom, you're right. Yes, she doesn't quite like him.. she's been bringing up that we should be breaking up for a while but I think it's partially because she has a bias against his family and it's like a clash of personalities. It's pretty cool how you got that.
I think you meant to say Ex, this person isnt mature enough to have a meaningful relationship with.
Yikes lol even more reason for her to keep her to keep it to herself. OP needs to tell her she doesn't have a say in who he does or doesn't bring to his house.
Ladies and gentlemen, presenting baby mama number 3
i’m writing a book about my life and hope to have it be bigger in the music industry. im already slightly connected so i hope to have him blacklisted and will be broadcasting it as much as I can! should he even get the slightest bit of traction but it looks like gods handling that because he’s more connected than me and still struggling but i will never put another woman through what I went through, besides he’s already a cheater too
What is the difference between telling him you love him and professing your love? What does professing entail and mean?
I love your empathy. You're definitely being a good human being right here
Nothing happened, we just made out, I felt bad about going along with it so I gave him a hand job, okay I blew him, I slept with him but it meant nothing. Welcome to the Trickle Truth
Leave him i know it sucks but in the end its not worth ur energy or time and he doesnt Deserve u