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I'm betting the guy is the stepdad and he assaulted her. He is now using her
The behaviour of the girl, sex addict, the behaviour of the 40yo towards OP and her sex life… 100% he wants to fuck her. But given the oversexualization, i'd say he has.
You are 27 years old, you need to grow up or seek therapy because this behavior isn't normal. How is playing beer pong with people at a party crossing your boundaries? Work on your insecurities because you sound kinda unhinged. And you took his keys and left him stranded there? That's crossing into asshole behavior. Unless your boyfriend has cheated on you or gives you other serious reasons to doubt him, this is a you problem. This attitude isn't healthy, you sound jealous, overbearing and awfully dramatic.
A bit late for those, unhelpful, questions now.
Depends, am I a very immature person presenting to be 36 or am I a reasonable adult?
I’ll be real with you. If I were your friend and I found out what you and your husband did with my photos, we would no longer be friends. Not even with the one time. That’s foul, sis.
If your brother sat you down and pointed out all the red flags he sees, there’s probably more. And…people don’t just sit you down for that type of conversation on a whim. Not when you’re already married. He risked losing his relationship with you to try to warn you. That says something to me.
Read Why Does He Do That? by Lundy Bancroft. It’s available for free on a pdf if you search for it.