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Girl get out and get tested. He disrespected you and broke your trust. If he was interested in others sexually he should have just communicated that. Instead he decided to be a coward. You deserve someone who will communicate with you even if it’s hard.
I’m so angry for even getting pregnant. If we have it, he’ll be resentful. If we don’t, I might become resentful. Talking about kids in the past, he was so excited… we planned on having kids around 27-28, so this reaction to starting 2 years early has my heart completely broken.
Thank you for the reality check!
Um. I dont think this is about the proposal, I think it's maybe about you not really wanting to marry him.
Bad bot
I just want to prove to her that I can make her happy, which she says I have been doing for the most part, and for her to bear with me during this patch.
Wrong approach my man. You need to make yourself happy first. You need to be centered and in order inside. You cannot make somebody else happy.
Based on what you wrote, it's obvious she already lost attraction for you and you cannot turn things around in just one conversation. That's like searching for a bandaid solution for a serious infection, instead of doing the deep work and working your issues. Besides getting into therapy, I would recommend to you get the following books and start applying them ASAP:
How to be a 3% man by Correy Wayne Letting Go by David Hawkins A Liberated Mind by Steven C. Hayes
Depending on whether you want to give her a chance to change or not (which isn't likely, or at least won't be easy, if she's already at this stage) you need to make plans. Choose an evening where someone else can have your child and then address these concerns calmly and clearly with a specific aim.
Don't say you think she might be abusive, tell her that her behaviour is abusive and you won't tolerate it any more for yourself, in front of or towards your child. Tell her that regardless of gender, nobody should be saying or doing hurtful things and you're concerned and need to do something about it.
If you want to make it work, tell her she must do therapy, either alone or with you.
Let someone know that you'll contact them by a certain time and if they don't hear from you, tell them to turn up so you can leave with them if needs be.
It might be good for you all to take a few days apart so she can process what has been said and so she can see how serious this is.
If you know you want to leave, speak to a solicitor first and get plans in place.
I personally would leave her, but I give both options as I know it can be extremely difficult to break a trauma bond and that is usually what relationships become when either partner is abusive.
Good luck ?
Do not have children with this man without legal protection!!!
Bite the bullet and tell them. The longer you keep it a secret, the more difficult it becomes. Just tell them.