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Nah that’s a no from me I the fact he lied to you and was cuddling with her seems odd
When I was 25 I dated a 20 year old.
It was like dating a high school child. It was so weird and she was so, so much younger in every single way and experience. I would not classify her as “stupid” because she was not. But it felt that way because of how inexperienced she was compared to just my 5 years.
19 and 30 is creepy as fuck. Yeah it’s legal, we know. So are hedge funds
Excuse you, I married my high school sweet heart and we've been married/best friends for 18 years. Sometimes it just works out.
There is nothing weird or inappropriate about showering with your own 3 year old.
It's also no harm in not doing it.
thanks i'm coming up with a lil pre-prepared script in my head and this is perfect
You are a bad person.
I’m so glad i’m not like you, and I would NEVER approach someone asking for help and kindness the way you have. You need to fix YOUR shit.
You are mean and disrespectful.
Listen to this OP. You may even meet someone in med school and at least then you won’t be fighting over the fact that your free time is limited.
You both have the right to want what you want, its just a fact of life that you’re just no longer compatible
Effectively yes! On another thread, an asexual woman was wanting to explain how she feels to her partner. How she loved him. How she still finds him physically attractive. Still wants to cuddle and be a couple, but she doesn't want sex. I suspect that's how your partner feels about you.
She was very articulate and explained her feelings very well, but the fact remains that to a non-asexual partner, the relationship will always be missing a vital part.
In the past I've had a couple of female friends, and they were just that, who used to hug and kiss me, hold hands, spent all our time together, even holidays together. Everyone assumed we were a couple but when we actually talked about becoming a couple, they didn't want to take that extra step, so we ended up going out separate ways.
lol I’m just nervous he’ll say no.
You need to get over this mindset if you want to find any success in dating.
This is your insecurity issue, not her issue.
Anytime. Goodluck!
But some spy cameras immediately
They also have family that are available to help. They aren’t desperate or have no other option.
Thanks for the input honestly! I was beating myself up asking if i was overthinking it knowing I'm not. The mental gymnastics I put myself through on this topic is so not like me. I'll have one more serious conversation with him about it. If he is respective I'll stick around and find a solution. If not, I'm just going to have to end it.
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For these reasons and others I can’t take birth control. I never had an issue getting a hookup, long term partner, or husband to wear a condom without complaint. If someone even uttered a single discouragement or eye roll about a condominium we never made it to the bedroom.
Take this as a red flag and ditch him.
He knew you would be uncomfortable with the joke, why would he even bring it up? That’s just mean, and he’s showing no care to your feelings or insecurities. If he thinks that’s funny then keep it to himself, you made it clear you’re not comfortable with those jokes.
And the one about your leg vs his body… that’s not even a joke. How is that a joke? He’s just being straight up mean.
He’s really showing you a lot of disrespect, and it’s perfectly valid for you to feel hurt. I would have a serious talk with him about it. Tell him about your insecurities, and how his comments make you feel. If he thinks it’s funny or wants to laugh at your insecurities, he can find somebody else that fits his idealized image of a women’s body.
If she wanted to talk to you she would call. Leave her alone and move on.
It is completely fair for her to ask you not to discuss that part of your life with her at all. That's a healthy boundary. But asking you to choose between your parents is not.
IMO? Tell her no. Tell her you will not discuss your father with her, but that you will not be forced to choose between your parents. That she can choose to remove herself from your life because she chose poorly when she procreated, but that you will not make it easy for her by choosing for her. If she hates her ex-husband more than she loves her son, she needs a therapist.
I'm not a sports guy, at all. My knee jerk reaction was how you reacted, so I very much get it. After reading the comments from people on hockey teams I now understand it better and agree with her.
That last paragraph is huge, but only if it's the truth. To back up, we can't just ignore the fact that you got together at 21 and 17. The only logical reason a 21 year old pursues a 17 year old is for the inherent power dynamic it provides, and your limited context here suggests exactly that.
He does nothing. Why? Because there's never been consequences for his actions. In saying that, I really hope your last paragraph is true, because that's exactly what you need to do. I'd be shocked if he cleans today. So when he doesn't, are you going to do what you said? If not, you're just continuing to show him that he can ignore your requests, because nothing negative will come from doing so. Good luck.
Of course you're mad about his admission, even if the divorce is now final, because you've just learned you were right about the other woman and you just found out that he is a huge liar and that the counseling was totally phony. That's a lot to take in after a year of lies and denial. What a scumbag!
You are not being overdramatic. I think having your mom pick up the kids is a good idea so you won't have to see little miss cheater.
Does he want you to fake liking anal just to be satisfied?
I'm sorry, but dump his ass. I think thats kinda messed up. I understand wanting things and stuff but if it comes at the expense of PAIN, then no.
That’s really not relevant
Extremely racist comment. Racism doesn't exclude race and it isn't dependent on government systems.
Stop your nonsense and stop downplaying other people's struggles and being a bigot.
So what you really meant was that YOU wanted an open relationship for yourself. You didn’t expect anyone to want your wife and now you’re upset that someone does want her. You opened this Pandora’s Box and now you must on-line with the repercussions. You essentially wanted to cheat on your wife with her blessing, but didn’t actually want her to do the same.
It's still another woman performing sexual acts on you. I would be mad if my bf behaved as OP did.
Eww. You do know that if he has gum disease he can pass that bacteria to you through kissing?
I don't know why you're calling this guy your “friend.” He's not your friend.
To be fair she’s an adult. He needs to speak to her calmly to find out what’s going on. If it’s before the legal age the she’d definitely Need some thought of therapy but not if it’s between two consenting adults
and you care why…?
That's high-key nasty as hell, he is a creepy weirdo for that one
I change my age occasionally for identity reasons, I’m scared that someone will recognise me
Most of what you said is perfect but #3 Is that what you would say if it was a woman? No, he shouldn’t ask himself those questions. What did it effect? Your ego? Shame on you, you know that is not the advice you would give a woman.
Since you've already talked and she's expressed her opinion on the subject… Yes, I could agree with moving on. At the same time, remain vigilant to prevent a reoccurrance of the past.
It’s not about the score I got lol, I couldn’t care less. It is the need that he felt to let me know how attractive I was on a scale. Why was it even necessary? I didn’t even bring a topic remotely related to appearance
I wonder what podcaster is telling guys to knock their gfs down a peg (for no reason other than to be manipulative) by testing them with this.
Lol what the fuck
What….? I hope this isn’t real. Is American? How has she not been exposed to regular everyday culture to not know this isn’t normal. I have the ick and I just don’t see how anyone reaches that age and doesn’t question that? Being hard just brings an entire different level to the weird…. Like does she undress in the room together with them and get in bed?!
There's no need for him to be in a funk, could've literally said: hi ladies , splitting headache, going for a lie down, have fun!
, he was so rude if I was at a friend's I'd feel I should leave. He embarrassed her into having to follow him .
Also coming in the door in a funk ? Tell them to park that rude humor outside.
They would have to go or she would have to go. Probably her because you shouldn’t have to explain that to her.
I don't understand why this got downvotes. Don't date Attractive people if you are triggered by them hearing that they are nice looking from time to time. Was that the controversial part? Lmao its true. Its unhealthy af if it upsets you for your partner get complimented.
I said having women touch him is a no no – valid. That op should have a conversation about boundaries – valid. And then she needs to stop spying on the dash cam – valid.
Everybody needs to stop being so pissy. Everything I said was facts ???
Talk with him about your situation.
You should be able to make clear that you enjoy spending time with him, but you also need some alone time in order to process everything. That you aren't talking about a break-up, just to have time to yourself sometimes…by analogy, you can really like cake, but you realize you shouldn't eat a whole one in a single sitting!
I also suggest reading the book The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, by John Gottman and Nan Silver, in order to understand the dynamics in a functional relationship.
You might also consider some sort of individual therapy for yourself. That past relationship causes wounds that also take time to heal. Having outside knowledge from someone trained in how relationships work (or fail to work) can help you properly identify what all is going on.
Just grow up and have an adult conversation about sex. Even down to what have the doctors said about the issue. What was her diagnosis. What are her wants sexually and is there any issues and if she can’t or won’t discuss it in a mature manner then the likeihood is she is not being truthful and for whatever reason she has no interest in sex and her suggesting you get sex somewhere else sounds like a huge red flag.
Mm sounds like conditioning aka training. You’ll either soon actually get used to that feeling or you’ll learn that saying anything against it will make life so uncomfortable you just won’t say anything negative about it anymore.
I had/have a similar problem. For me, it was/is an ADHD thing and wanting to occupy my mind constantly. 5 second lull? Phone. It's that simple. But turning off notifications during social outings helps a lot. Recognizing lulls when they occur and consciously telling myself that I can endure a few seconds between stimuli helps too.
I would tell him you aren't feeling prioritized when you're spending time together and that if this continues, you may not be interested in continuing to see him. Even at my worst, I was not texting or scrolling on my phone in the middle of a conversation on first dates. Bathroom breaks, sure, but not mid conversation. That's inconsiderate of your time and your attention, and your frustration is valid.
I don't think it violates any ethical code to be friends with a former patient.
> I told him that if he ever sees her in a professional capacity again I’ll report her. He instantly claimed that I was irrational!
That sounds like a reasonable response. He's not seeing her in a professional capacity, they are friends. And I don't think he has any desire to see her in a professional capacity again either.
What “relationship”? Just avoid this asshole altogether.
He's obviously a sociopath or psychopath.