Also, of course, any ideas on how to ease her anxiety would be lovely to recieve. We are currently trying meditation, exercise and she is soon going into therapy.
Gender part is understandable as may take a little time to work through. The other stuff and especially response tqo just pretend tho? Exceptionally shitty.
I'm a woman, so I can categorically say that Plan B is more likely to cause worse cramps than ever be used to treat cramps.
But the story you tell doesn't necessarily convince me that your gf just decided “Oh I'm going to have sex with these total strangers tonight, when I'm actually in town with my BF for the first time since Thanksgiving, and do it quickly while he's grabbing something from the car.” That's the dumbest plan for cheating I've ever heard of. There are various things that could have happened, and various reasons she could have to being dodgy.
I hope your gf is ok. And you can ask her to make time to have a real conversation about what may have happened that night. You deserve to feel safe in your relationship as much as anyone.
If you don't do it in front of other people then you can control it, you're just choosing not to. That's a big problem because it shows how little you respect her voice and her needs. Everything in this post demonstrates your emotional immaturity and self centered thought processes.
If you don't force yourself to empathise with your partner, and respect her right to voice her opinions without interruption, you may end up losing her. Most women won't tolerate this kind of behavior indefinitely.
Do you have any advice for after that? I want to keep Jenna as a friend and when I see her again he’ll probably be there too and ask why I haven’t been responding to his messages.
Hmm. I appreciate this and it’s definitely something I recognize in myself and have been actively working on for a little while. I don’t know if I’d go as far to say that I value this trait – it brings me a lot of frustration/unnecessary heartache at times. But I am aware of my pattern and have been working on it. Thanks again
You know what, that’s not necessarily bad. Some people are crap at this sort of stuff and really appreciate ‘this is what I would like, specifically, because this holiday is important to me and I know you struggle but also want to honour that it is important to me’ lists.
So as a woman I understand the need to protect other woman. But as a human, I also recognize the right for someone innocent privacy.
This group isn’t doing anyone favors by allowing woman to post false narratives. They aren’t protecting woman. Well maybe they are in some cases, but the fact they don’t vet the posts they are promoting women potentially attacking a man who could have just turned them down, which also isn’t okay.
You dodge a bullet, but look into legal avenues against this group, because it really doesn’t do what it sets out to do since it doesn’t get the posts. It’s like revenge porn, it could ruin a man’s life due to a date gone bad or not being interested.
Go get your masters!!! He's choosing his life for him, and not even considering coming for you! He can find a job anywhere… he's a man. Especially in Europe. You can't. You're a woman in a third world country trying to get higher education & a job. You want to support yourself. I think that support starts now.
Look at your state laws to see if you can start recording her without her permission. If you can, just quietly record whenever she berates you or your poor son. This can be audio-only or video.
You’re supposed to love your partner in their love language, not yours. It appears OP enjoys receiving gifts and physical touch. I think it’s a stretch to say she is trying to make him a different person, all she wants is flowers and to go on a date sometimes. Those are completely normal things in almost every relationship.
I mean, does he act like this in a professional setting too?! In public? With his friends? At some point, he MUST know he's not funny. Atleast someone has rejected this farce.
It sounds like your BF is open to learning, which is huge for people who have been indoctrinated by religion. Honestly, that’s a great sign. I’m a member of the LGBTQ+ community and have been an activist for decades, so I have a strong sense of purpose and goals. But I do not automatically exclude people who are willing to be supportive. We often win hearts and minds slowly.
He has suffered no consequences for his actions. At least if you have him sign a post-nuptial agreement, there will be very specific consequences to his behavior. You have children and from your description, it sounds like he is secretly masturbating to porn in a car. If and when he gets caught, he will probably end up on a sex-offender registry and how will that impact your family and financial situation.
Your best solution might just be to part with the intention of amicably co-parenting provided he actively seeks treatment and sticks to it.
I met him actually at a political rally. We were both protesting for veteran's healthcare.
I don't want to change him at all, in-terms of who he is. He's an amazing person and I love him for everything he is as a person. But do I want to change his opinions politically, I do.
Its one thing to change someone, its another to challenge their political views. I do want to change the latter.
This seems… baity. Did your friend tell his GF he was a cis-man? If the basis here is she deceived him by not divulging she was trans, I’d expect your friend was upfront about being cis or trans? Or is that double standard only for trans folks?
Then you likely already know you're heading for a break up. He's free to choose his life's path, and so are you. If you don't want the same path, you make your own.
Some people feel the need to live! together before making further major commitment. And other people require that large commitment before they agree to on-line together.
Neither of these needs are wrong, but they are incompatible.
Unfortunately you and him seem to be one of these people, and not the same ones.
Going purely on what you've said here, he's throwing out warning signs for being possessive and controlling. He's not entitled to all your time, kindness and energy and sees you giving any of that to anyone but him as a threat to him personally.
On the flipside, if you are constantly giving everything to everyone without saving anything for yourself then that's not healthy either, whether that's him, family or coworkers. You need to learn about setting and enforcing boundaries across ALL your relationships and not seek approval and validation through emptying yourself out without getting anything to replenish you in return. People can be selfish, both deliberately and unwittingly, and take more than they should from others simply because they can.
To make sure that you have ongoing communication with your partner so that they don’t feel that their needs are not being met. Girl or a guy, plenty of women cheat.
It’s just thoughts dude, human nature, u have crushes and that is fine. The only difference is how u react to those thoughts.
Look buddy I usually don’t like telling people what to do in their relationships (but here I am), but listen to this. There will always be better, you may be comfortable and happy in ur current home, but there will always be a better home, you may think your wife is the best but there will always be a better person than her…this is life. The only difference here is how u react to them. Don’t fix something that isn’t broken. You married ur wife for a reason, sex life can always be improved, go to couples counseling only if both of u really want to fix things not just to say “I went to couples therapy and it didn’t work”
And remember If we always chase the next best thing or the better, than what is the point of having them in the first place? That life sounds exhausting.
What is CSA?
Also, of course, any ideas on how to ease her anxiety would be lovely to recieve. We are currently trying meditation, exercise and she is soon going into therapy.
Gender part is understandable as may take a little time to work through. The other stuff and especially response tqo just pretend tho? Exceptionally shitty.
I'm a woman, so I can categorically say that Plan B is more likely to cause worse cramps than ever be used to treat cramps.
But the story you tell doesn't necessarily convince me that your gf just decided “Oh I'm going to have sex with these total strangers tonight, when I'm actually in town with my BF for the first time since Thanksgiving, and do it quickly while he's grabbing something from the car.” That's the dumbest plan for cheating I've ever heard of. There are various things that could have happened, and various reasons she could have to being dodgy.
I hope your gf is ok. And you can ask her to make time to have a real conversation about what may have happened that night. You deserve to feel safe in your relationship as much as anyone.
I guess avoiding her is the best option. Thank you
So how and where to live! and having kids or not is 1% for you?
LOL
Lol I feel like an idiot tf is an ick?
You did it for a reason to stand by it. Even if you do regret it, it’s not fair to her to be dumped then roped back in whenever you feel like it.
If you don't do it in front of other people then you can control it, you're just choosing not to. That's a big problem because it shows how little you respect her voice and her needs. Everything in this post demonstrates your emotional immaturity and self centered thought processes.
If you don't force yourself to empathise with your partner, and respect her right to voice her opinions without interruption, you may end up losing her. Most women won't tolerate this kind of behavior indefinitely.
It sounds like you've been unhappy in this relationship for awhile and there's no reason to think it's going to improve.
Good lord.
You know exactly what he was up to and you’d be a bit of a fool to stay with him.
Do you have any advice for after that? I want to keep Jenna as a friend and when I see her again he’ll probably be there too and ask why I haven’t been responding to his messages.
It’s not, swear everything is real.
That was kindness which one should not apologise for. She chose to misuse and abuse your feelings and trust. Its on her.
Sounds like you know to keep away. Best of luck.
Hmm. I appreciate this and it’s definitely something I recognize in myself and have been actively working on for a little while. I don’t know if I’d go as far to say that I value this trait – it brings me a lot of frustration/unnecessary heartache at times. But I am aware of my pattern and have been working on it. Thanks again
Maybe I need to move to a new city at the end of the year. I’m finding very few people here that I could see myself having something like that with
You know what, that’s not necessarily bad. Some people are crap at this sort of stuff and really appreciate ‘this is what I would like, specifically, because this holiday is important to me and I know you struggle but also want to honour that it is important to me’ lists.
Demanded at least two different kinds of flowers.
Completely ignoring the agency of the adult drinking at the bar.
hey it’s between you and them
NOPE. His friends, his problem.
So as a woman I understand the need to protect other woman. But as a human, I also recognize the right for someone innocent privacy.
This group isn’t doing anyone favors by allowing woman to post false narratives. They aren’t protecting woman. Well maybe they are in some cases, but the fact they don’t vet the posts they are promoting women potentially attacking a man who could have just turned them down, which also isn’t okay.
You dodge a bullet, but look into legal avenues against this group, because it really doesn’t do what it sets out to do since it doesn’t get the posts. It’s like revenge porn, it could ruin a man’s life due to a date gone bad or not being interested.
Go get your masters!!! He's choosing his life for him, and not even considering coming for you! He can find a job anywhere… he's a man. Especially in Europe. You can't. You're a woman in a third world country trying to get higher education & a job. You want to support yourself. I think that support starts now.
is this weird viral marketing for Succession s4?
He literally tried to rape you
Look at your state laws to see if you can start recording her without her permission. If you can, just quietly record whenever she berates you or your poor son. This can be audio-only or video.
You’re supposed to love your partner in their love language, not yours. It appears OP enjoys receiving gifts and physical touch. I think it’s a stretch to say she is trying to make him a different person, all she wants is flowers and to go on a date sometimes. Those are completely normal things in almost every relationship.
Definitely don't fuckin marry her, that's for sure
I mean, does he act like this in a professional setting too?! In public? With his friends? At some point, he MUST know he's not funny. Atleast someone has rejected this farce.
A personal twitter account as im his only following and followers
It sounds like your BF is open to learning, which is huge for people who have been indoctrinated by religion. Honestly, that’s a great sign. I’m a member of the LGBTQ+ community and have been an activist for decades, so I have a strong sense of purpose and goals. But I do not automatically exclude people who are willing to be supportive. We often win hearts and minds slowly.
Look up “Fertility Awareness” and track her cycle. Then only have sex on the safest days, you’ll be fine.
He has suffered no consequences for his actions. At least if you have him sign a post-nuptial agreement, there will be very specific consequences to his behavior. You have children and from your description, it sounds like he is secretly masturbating to porn in a car. If and when he gets caught, he will probably end up on a sex-offender registry and how will that impact your family and financial situation.
Your best solution might just be to part with the intention of amicably co-parenting provided he actively seeks treatment and sticks to it.
Yes, you are.
I met him actually at a political rally. We were both protesting for veteran's healthcare.
I don't want to change him at all, in-terms of who he is. He's an amazing person and I love him for everything he is as a person. But do I want to change his opinions politically, I do.
Its one thing to change someone, its another to challenge their political views. I do want to change the latter.
This seems… baity. Did your friend tell his GF he was a cis-man? If the basis here is she deceived him by not divulging she was trans, I’d expect your friend was upfront about being cis or trans? Or is that double standard only for trans folks?
Rehome the boyfriend
Nope. You aren’t a bad person. But. If you had any notion of getting back together, which sounds like a terrible idea, you did blow that up.
Then you likely already know you're heading for a break up. He's free to choose his life's path, and so are you. If you don't want the same path, you make your own.
To be blunt, you sound paranoid. Without any naked evidence you can't really assume he's cheating just for liking a post on Instagram.
Some people feel the need to live! together before making further major commitment. And other people require that large commitment before they agree to on-line together.
Neither of these needs are wrong, but they are incompatible.
Unfortunately you and him seem to be one of these people, and not the same ones.
He's not considering his ex over you. He is considering the kids over you. That will hopefully never change.
probably meant those things
Then why would he laugh when OP got upset over it? Why wouldn't he write those things if he meant them?
OP just has an extremely immature partner and shouldn't just “let it go”, unless of course they plan to break up with them
Going purely on what you've said here, he's throwing out warning signs for being possessive and controlling. He's not entitled to all your time, kindness and energy and sees you giving any of that to anyone but him as a threat to him personally.
On the flipside, if you are constantly giving everything to everyone without saving anything for yourself then that's not healthy either, whether that's him, family or coworkers. You need to learn about setting and enforcing boundaries across ALL your relationships and not seek approval and validation through emptying yourself out without getting anything to replenish you in return. People can be selfish, both deliberately and unwittingly, and take more than they should from others simply because they can.
To make sure that you have ongoing communication with your partner so that they don’t feel that their needs are not being met. Girl or a guy, plenty of women cheat.
It’s just thoughts dude, human nature, u have crushes and that is fine. The only difference is how u react to those thoughts.
Look buddy I usually don’t like telling people what to do in their relationships (but here I am), but listen to this. There will always be better, you may be comfortable and happy in ur current home, but there will always be a better home, you may think your wife is the best but there will always be a better person than her…this is life. The only difference here is how u react to them. Don’t fix something that isn’t broken. You married ur wife for a reason, sex life can always be improved, go to couples counseling only if both of u really want to fix things not just to say “I went to couples therapy and it didn’t work”
And remember If we always chase the next best thing or the better, than what is the point of having them in the first place? That life sounds exhausting.
Good luck
I wonder if op would’ve threatened to report her had she been a man and not a woman