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Liz, 24 y.o.
Location: Mississippi, United States
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I’ve spent the last few years purposefully improving my credit score. I’ve gone from the mid 500’s to the low 800’s. If you care about your credit, do not co-sign. You say his credit score is low because of his credit age. You say you have a much higher credit score. But you’re younger than him. You have less credit history but a higher score. Most likely his credit age isn’t the only thing bringing down his score. He has credit cards. If he’s only paying the minimum payment then that’s not helping his score. If he’s charging more than what he pays then that would hurt his score. He’s got a good job and decent savings. Neither of those affect his score. But he could dip deeper into his savings to help buy the car. That wouldn’t lower the interest rate but it would decrease his payments. Also the more he personally invests in his car the more committed he will be to make proper payments. If he’s not willing to invest more but will ask you to contribute then that’s not a good indication that he will pay this loan responsibly. I realize you are in love. But love is not a factor on your credit report. One account in default will bring down your score for at least 7 years. If you want to help him then give him money. I don’t advise it but at least it doesn’t risk your credit score. If he’s worried about the interest rates then he can spend the next year paying off his debts this increasing his credit score. He can always then refinance. He can get a car without using your credit.
You didn't respond for 4h and she broke up?
Sir, you dodged a bullet!
If he’s not wiping with wipes wtf makes you think he would wipe with TP..??I had a total hysterectomy many years ago and TP was brutal to wipe with, nurse’s suggested wipes, then we all collectively agreed that wipes were better, so haven’t used TP since.
No guarantees, but an idea I consider promising.
First, give yourself time. I'm a Forgive Once person, so I know from experience that forgiveness is a decision, but getting over anger is a process. During that process, your words and actions must not make it appear that your acceptance of the apology and offer of forgiveness weren't genuine. Your anger should be taken to a confidant, clergy or counselor.
Next, anger is a fire that needs to be fed fuel and oxygen, or it slowly dies. Something is feeding your anger, and my guess is that Husband's time and communication with his friends keeps reminding you that he's cozy with people you feel mistreated by. IMHO this is what you can't let go of. Husband's misdeed is over and done – a red herring. But the friends are still close as ever.
You clearly realize that you can't compound his poor behavior with your own. And that both friends and lovers need to take care not to force the person they both care about to have to choose between them. They should make some effort to cultivate a good relationship with each other.
So do that, and every time you do, reward yourself – the sooner the better. Choose rewards you'll look forward to. If this goes as I expect, your hostility towards the friends will take a sort-of Stockholm turn, as you get used to the idea that your positive connection with them is the key to the rewards you enjoy. Hope this helps, and best wishes.