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I wish he could just see the situation for what it is and understand because it would be one thing if we dropped off for no reason but there’s several reasons.
And in turn, he probably wants you to see it from his perspective. In his mind he's probably thinking “a BJ takes 5-10 minutes”.
I'm not saying he's right. I'm saying you guys need to discuss this a lot more. It's very clear that frequent regular sex is something he's going to expect for a long time going forward, possibly forever.
He is very evasive when it comes to talking about feelings it’s hot to get deep with him. Always has been. I would say things have been normal and he was making an effort but now I’m not so sure. Now I’m questioning everything..
Umm NTA, you are a caregiver. I'm offended she is even suggesting that this is inappropriate
Stop feeding the fictional posts people Jesus fucking Christ
You can do this. You have what it takes. If you are able to, try to find a therapist—it will be so much easier with someone like that in your corner who is committed to unpacking and sorting out all of your feelings in a healthy way. I’m really serious…so anything you can to make this possible. If money is an issue, call your city’s mental health line and ask them who to talk to about getting some therapy.
I’m way way past the really bad times and am remarried and had another baby—LIFE. IS. SO. GOOD. I have a true partner who loves parenting these kids and managing our life. It’s bliss, really. Even with the tough days that every life is going to have, it’s so much easier to navigate life with a great partner by your side. You deserve that, keep being a great parent to your daughter and you will attract someone who thinks that is really important. Everything will fall into place if you just keep moving forward the best way you can as a dad for your girl.
If your gf continues to persist in her abandonment of this baby, you will need to go to court to solidify your rights and custody and keep her from causing mayhem. BIG TIP HERE: give her space and time to keep fucking it and document it. The text of your daughters picture with the message that she wants to talk is a great example of the kind of thing you want to document.
Document her social media posts, her across the country partying while not responding to you, your messages about her suddenly leaving and you needing to line up emergency child care…all of that, neatly organized. The more work you do to document and organize, the less money you pay an attorney (they bill hourly and holy shit the hours add up).
You will be lonely, you will be scared, you will think you can’t afford ab attorney, you will panic…and then you will remind yourself that you’re doing it for this little girl and the strength and resilience will just be there, within you, somehow…and you’ll take the next step.
Call attorneys. They’re almost all very used to people making arrangements with them. Make arrangements and stick to it—you really can figure it out.
Getting your custody straight will not only protect your daughter, but it’s another piece of the puzzle that a (good, mature) future partner will look at to see if you have it together. The kind of woman you want to eventually be with will not be okay with some loosely goosey situation or poor boundaries with a shitty baby mama…she’ll want to see that you stepped up and did the adult thing for your daughter and managed boundaries with your child’s mother so things can be as orderly and drama free as possible.
You really can do it. This can be a moment of so much growth for you…level up dude. You have everything it takes to ROCK THIS! Don’t give up when it feel’s impossibly hard—it really feels so bad sometimes, push through!
♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ all my luck to you.