120 thoughts on “annaceleste the naked live! sex chat with hottest babes with a Live HD”
Tell me this? Where should the line be drawn is it 10 years older too old or is 9 or 11 or 11.5 years ? 46 and 23 is not acceptable but 73 and 53 is ok? Please make sense of this reasoning??
Problem is when people convince themselves why they are doing it is to protect the other person, it almost always protects that same person from having to address the direct fall out. Pretty nude to separate the two motivations.
Put it another way most people who withhold the details of an affair are almost never doing it for noble reasons, no matter what they convince themselves.
You don't have to do anything you are not ok with, if you feel comfortable telling him about your abuse you can and see how he reacts. If he keeps pushing get out of that relationship ASAP.
You don't have to go in great detail either, say as much or as little as you want. For example if you want to keep it vague you can say something like
“look, I like you a lot and I enjoy sex with you, but there have been certain experiences in my life that weren't great, so I have some nude limits when it comes to this. I don't want to talk about what happened rn so please don't ask about it, i only wanted you to know why I don't want to do this things and for you to understand that it has nothing to do with you “
This is one of the main reasons I would never recommend dating a single mother. Her attention and focus is and should be on the child. You are trying to start a relationship, and that is nude enough with devoting all the spare time you each have. It makes it so much harder with kids. Your feelings are perfectly valid. If you are not ready for this kind of commitment then it is perfectly reasonable to end things. Especially, if you and the child don't get along well enough. Good luck OP.
Yeah, I would move on. It's pretty clear he's not ready and even if you do manage to get him down the aisle you're likely to encounter similar issues when it comes time to discuss having a baby, which is a much larger commitment.
This is the risk when you start dating a 22-year-old. If having a family is important to you, wish him well and find someone closer to your age who is excited to settle down. Might be worth freezing your eggs if you can afford it.
It's been 3 years…. and he clearly has doubts. Tbh, even if he suddenly agrees to get engaged and gets the ring now….how would you know that he really WANTS it and doesn't just do it to not lose you?
May I ask why you stopped the SSsRI’s? Only I didn’t get on with some antidepressants but worked with my healthcare professionals to find the ones that didn’t leave me feeling in a bad place. You can do this if you have that conversation with a professional who is sympathetic to your situation. Take care and stay strong ? buddy.
She gave you an outline, she doesn’t have to go into detail. Whatever he did or said clearly caused her a lot of pain and she’s not obligated to share it. Stop taking it personally and let her tell you in her own time if she ever wants to.
If she is working that much, she should be expected to get her own transportation and possibly daycare, at least for some time so you can get a break. I mean she works 10 hours a day, 6+ days a week, at 3 times her old salary. She should be able to, and expected, to buy the things she needs. She sounds immature as she spends too much money on nails, coffee, and shopping instead of reliable transportation and daycare.
You have to put your foot down and either make her fix the issue immediately, or its' time to split. Dont let her use the kid as a bargaining chip. You might be attached to him, but he is her responsibility. She is using you at this point as a nanny, provider, and support so she can work alot and play when she isn't working. You have already gave her a place to on-line, got her kid back, and helped her to a better life. It's time for her to also do more than work while relying on you.
You will not lose everything if you lose him. It feels like that, but trust me, it isn’t like that at all. You’re 20. Your life has barely even started.
I am seriously shaking my head at how rude and dismissive some of these comments are. There are legit concerns OP has here and most people would be upset and confused by some of this guys behavior. He doesn’t have to like her but the way he has conducted himself as far as we know is not nice and deserves a little criticism. There’s is no excuse for conducting himself in this way regardless.
Instead I see you condescendingly assessing in summary a situation that you know almost nothing about in a way that would make it seem you are in the head of this guy but shows you’ve overlooked key elements that put his actions into questions and you do it in a disrespectful and dismissive way that in my opinion suggests that while you’ve concluded OP is THE problem (unrealistic and super rude)you are yourself a problem as well. I wont even go into where your response doesn’t make sense because I would be wasting my time on someone who dismissively wouldn’t read it. That’s as rude as it gets. I would recommend you don’t try to “help” anyone else because this is not helpful at all.
Sounds to me like the OP has some serious anger issues. Whenever the mom and boyfriend apologized and tried to make it up to him, he just exploded in rage. He’s part of the problem here.
Is your good friend male or female? If it's a female she wants you to take her sister because she doesn't trust your friend.
If it's a male then either she legit wants you to get to know her sister which is a terrible idea for an intimate date or it's a test which again a terrible idea.
If your friend is female take the sister and suck it up and don't fall for traps.
If the friends male then stand firm and go with him.
At the end of the day you paid for it was your plan and it's up to you.
I would really let the comment go. Don’t destroy 7 wonderful years because of a comments that a child heard. I think it really says how easily your ready to give in on this relationship over something this minor.
I was about to come offer my support in the comments but reading that you yourself are a cheater and seem to be very defensive (saying stuff like ”I was not over my ex” and blah blah blah, doesn’t matter, just shows how pathetic and uncaring of a person you are), I don’t have any sympathy towards you.
”But this is different, since there is a baby!!” Nah, it’s just karma coming back to bite you in the ass and that’s what you deserve. The only person I feel bad for here is the poor child, both of you suck and in no way should a child be put in the midts of two losers like you and your gf.
Stop feeling sorry about yourself, find a spine and communicate with your gf. You guys have to actually decide if having this child is good for not only you two but the child itself.
You didn't even reply to him. If it were me, I would assume you weren't interested if you didn't even have the decency to reply. You are the one ghosting him you absolute donut.
100% you should give the ring back, pure definition of being a gold digger… in backwards land!
It’s your dead mothers ring… He has literally zero claim over the ring that was NEVER his. He simply gave you it back when proposing… I have no words of how bizarre this situation is which is made worse that it’s coming from a 36 year old man…
Time to cut ties to everything in every possible way relating to this arsehole and his family. Block and move on with your life.
Your mom is the worst. That ring symbolizes an unpleasant time in your life, and it's a reminder that both family heirlooms were refashioned and gifted to your sister even though she has no immediate prospect of engagement. Like how does she justify any of that in her mind?
Definitely tell her you've reconsidered, and see if she'll still give it to you. And 100% get it appraised and sell it on-line somewhere so you can get your soon to be fiance something that actually celebrates your life together … not some ill fated hand me down after though.. the nerve of some people.
Tbh, sounds like you were better matched with your ex, and now your current fiancé just happens to be the woman you are marrying because now you’re ready to settle down. Unfortunately I have seen this trend with men. They get married to the wrong woman because they want to be married and start a family, but still pine for “the one that got away.”
Honestly? You need to let Sarah go. This isn’t me telling you to confess to Amy, but to mourn what could have been and then find someone better suited for you. This isnt me saying Sarah is a bad person, or has glaring flaws, we all have our own history. This is me saying that you both deserve to be with people you are madly in love with and that also are madly in love with you/Sarah.
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That's what I want to do – make my excuses and not go. But as its a small gathering, and I only saw my mom yesterday, they'd know I was lying or something was up.
I'd love to ask her why she treats me the way she does, but I know she'd deny everything so I don't think I'd get anything out of confronting her either. She's a very difficult person to approach.
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It’s not a conference or anything like that, it’s neither here nor there on whether people will respect me because there are nobody’s opinions to worry about in this case and on this trip. We, her and I, made the decision to do it in order to save money on travel.
I have it and take medication which made me tired at the start but it evened out. I have never slapped, thrown things, been any type of abusive. She needs major therapy and you don’t have to stay in an abusive relationship.
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When everything is out in the open and communication and boundaries are clear, then you make an informed decision whether or not to forgive someone and continue investing and growing in your relationship. He has trickle-truthed you just until you stopped questioning him.
I think you are wasting your next few months/years giving him the power to choose when to eventually leave you. Take back that power OP. Leave him and build the life of honesty and peace that you deserve.
She broke the rules and cheated and I personally feel like you have been set up for them to cheat with each other while you sit and watch! Neither one of them (from what you wrote) want anything to do with you during the 3some. I mean did you get off , did they actively make you a participant ? Or was it centered around them? I personally would become roommates and nothing else and I wouldn't share a bed with her. Sorry 3somes hurt when they are only for 2 and it's used to cheat and get away with it
I don't know you enough to comment about expectations but if you are aware that your tastes are superficial then you either update/adapt taste wise or gear up to face disappointments. You need not be doomed but you may have to kiss a few frogs before you reach your superficial-bu-right-for-you princess.
The problem is a lot of things aren't objectively right or wrong – there is often more than one way to skin a cat.
Often people confuse being right with having a preference for it being done their way.
My fiancé cooks differently to me, I'm not his boss – at the end of the day we have food that tastes good.
My ex would start arguments that went in the MOST frustrating circles because they refused to accept “I don't want to” or “I don't like it” as a legitimate reason.
Oh, honey I’m so sorry. Firstly, you should know that is is so valid to feel violated right now. That’s what they did. They violated your privacy as an autonomous adult and they had absolutely no right to do so. No matter his worries. Secondly, you should take a good and nude look at this. He chose to take his worries to an outside party that knows no details of the situation rather than go to you, who knows all and should have been the one he went to. This is a betrayal I could not forgive, because he clearly doesn’t believe you’re mature enough to take care of your problems. Best of luck and best wishes to you OP?
For real it takes two and I will never understand how the people who least want babies are the ones who make others pregnant! He made it but he can choose to be or not to be in that child's life. She could have chosen abortion but she didnt want it, and that is absolutely fair as well. Takes two to make it but you still should be able to decide. Same as if she didnt want it and he did she would have been in her right to terminate the pregnancy and he should have respected that.
Unless she lives in a place where it is illegal to abort it was her choice and I wont change my mind. If she lives in a place where an abortion is not possible because it is illegal then for sure he MUST take responsibility for it at a money level, giving her child support even if they separate I mean, but it would still be his choice if he doesnt want to parent the child or be in his life at all, same as she would have that choice (if she wants to parent or not) if he later decided he did want the children but she changed her mind.
Lots of other redditors have shared what she can do to get help as well so I do sincerely hope she can on-line this situation in a more bearable way. But yes, it takes two irresponsible people to make a baby they cant afford and one of them doesnt want to have (unless an accident happened which although rare, can absolutely occur)
Abandoning the family home will not work out well for you when the lawyers come in for the divorce. You've made your decision but it's a bad one, good luck!
I was 19 when I met him but due to a tonne of things honestly didn’t consider the age an issue. Neither would be hanging out with friends but him lying is whats made me upset and suspicious. I appreciate your advice!
I know that’s what she told her boyfriend. I’m not a mind reader. But I do know how fantasies and kinks work. I understand a decent amount of cognitive psychology.
Yes she could sub in other people, but that’s additional work for the brain. The brain is dumb and lazy, it’s going to use what it already has before it starts changing stuff.
The brain wants actors so it can tell a story. That’s all this is. Everyone making out that she’s going to cheat on him just seems to have no understanding of how fantasies work.
So a lot of dudes these days decide to jerk off so much their junk doesn't work with actual women. Because of too tight of grip, porn addiction, what have you. Are you SURE that these things aren't the problem? This may have nothing to do with you.
My boyfriends feed is all sports. Sports teams, sports stars, people who talk about sports, pictures of sports stadiums, sport memes. Literally the whole feed is sports.
I normally just lurk on this sub but your relationship sounds so much like my younger brother and his wife that I found it quite upsetting.
You hear people say relationships should be 50/50 but I disagree, relationships should be 100/100 whenever you can give it. It's ok to dip on occasion, no one is perfect all the time, but you support each other through those times.
What is she giving? Because at the moment it sounds like about 180/20. For 5 goddamn years. That's absolute crap from a life partner. She's gonna burn you out and then move on to the next sucker.
That's an issue between her and her parents though. Unless OP wants to pay the parents directly the rent, if he has a problem with how she treats her parents, then he should probably leave.
LMAO. Y'all are so pressed about HER PERSONAL HAIRSTYLE PREFERENCE. She literally states this is the best she's felt about herself in a long time. If he doesn't find that sexy, he's a shitty boyfriend who loved her for her hairstyle. Who wants to be with someone THAT fucking shallow?
I couldn’t say. Who knows. Maybe one party being somewhat sensitive and the other being somewhat unhinged is a difficult mix to pull off in the long run.
I feel so bad for women with guys like these, and I know these ducks purposefully pick out women who are too nice and/ or with low self esteem to they can stay abusive and in power.
If a man tried did this shit to me, he'd be lucky to have working hands after a few month. I'm seething on OP's behalf
Spend some time reacquainting yourself with your father and celebrate his freedom with him and those who support him. Do this first. Then, work with your wife to come up with a plan to include her and the children in a way you both feel good about. Your wife would need to meet him first before the kids. I am assuming the children are younger than teenagers. Approach this situation as a team (you and your wife). Consider what is best for your marriage and strive for win win.
No, first big fight and he will absolutely use it against you and lash out. As unfortunate as it is, this is what people do. They will use it to hurt you in ways you never thought someone could. You see him through the lense of your current relationship, but as an adult you should know that it doesn't always work out and often times when someone gets hurt they act recklessly and lash out in the most worst way imaginable. This is something you bury away and forget about. I know I'll get a lot of disagreement and arguments about honesty but this is the reality of human nature. Please protect yourself and know that you are a good person and our past decisions don't need to define us. Please don't feel guilty or anything less then who you are today and only today.
I highly recommend getting a job. I’m not trying to judge but if you don’t have children I don’t see the need for one spouse to be a homemaker. And it’s a dangerous situation to be in as a (very) young woman with no financial independence of her own should things go bad.
It's not uncommon that some people are just ignorant and kinda stupid about things. Good thing here is he research it, learned his mistake and apologize. Going forward (if you wish) be sure to tell him that he should never guess things as important as these and that either he should learn about it or ask. Also ask him all the important things and see if his opinions and wiahes match your. If not it's better to find someone who fit you better
If you've spoken at length multiple times about this, he is very, very aware of you burning yourself out to keep everything together with no help. It's awful to think about but barring an executive dysfunction disorder, he probably just doesn't care.
Too many men will let their partners grind themselves into dust trying to keep up with 100% of the housework, administrative tasks, cooking, child and elder care because they just don't want to. I've lived with several men platonically and otherwise that knew perfectly well how to keep a clean house but magically forgot how to turn on a vacuum, wash a dish or scrub their ring of shit out of the toilet once I moved in. Some dudes just subconsciously think all that stuff is the job of whatever woman is convenient. They do it because it makes their lives easier, more relaxing and less stressful at the cost of an order of magnitude of more stress on your shoulders. A loving partner wouldn't want to burden you like that. The mental load plus slaving away alone for our families literally takes years off our lives.
You might have to start thinking about whether you still want to be trying to teach him that dirty socks go in the hamper and not a foot away on the floor for the next 50 years of your life.
1st point, he does know when I make advances. He just turns them down because he says he is stressed or tired. Which I understand and respect and we always figure out something else to do. 2nd point, I also completely understand, but he has often said he does enjoy receiving head. I’ve even made him cum many times from oral. We often talk about what gets each other off and what doesn’t. 3rd point, we do communicate as much as possible very openly. I can’t tell you if he likes me because I’m not inside his head, but all of his actions support this. He constantly asks to spend time together or set up a date night while respecting my schedule. When we do have sex we both get to enjoy safe, kink forward sex while knowing and respecting each others limits and boundaries. I am very physically attracted to him and he seems the same. We have common interests and I get along well with his family and friends, and vice versa. No one else I have dated is able to put up with my work hours without being needy or feel neglected and is into the same kinks I am, wants to spend time gaming, working on cars, and is able communicate so well. He has helped me learn to cope with my trauma while he has done the same, making me feel loved, safe, and secure.
If you do decide to break up, please contact a lawyer first and explain the situation. You, being the caretaking for 10 years, might make you liable for child support if she pushes for it.
Neither of them is really interested in listening to the other's honestly valid points
He wants the full security of knowing, she sees that as immediately disavowing the trust in the relationship.
On the flip side, she sees this as a farce that won't happen, he sees that as denying him security in the relationship.
While I don't disagree that if the relationship is already built on trust and security a paternity test isn't needed, I also can't fault someone for wanting that security. Especially if they've either known someone personally or have been cheated on/in toxic relationships.
Neither is necessarily wrong, it's just a very charged topic to disagree on
>> him interrupting or trying to defend himself until I eventually just give in.
Your issue is that you are giving into what is essentially bullying? “I am breaking up with you. This is not up for discussion. I will not change my mind.” You want to give him reasons and allow him to speak, but he is not allowing YOU to speak, and is manipulating you into giving in and staying. Don't let him. Worry more about yourself than about him? This is a 3-month relationship with a man who is already multiple times accusing you of cheating (I don't care if he has relationship trauma, he is dealing with it on your back).
I mean, a nude sit down and saying that you’ve grown resentful that he isn’t giving as much mental energy into the relationship that you are, and frankly the ball is in his court to now deliver because you’re going to stop these small things that you do for him.
If he turns on the dishwasher when your about to go in the shower, turn it off and tell him to do it by hand as you’re about to shower. Walk at your own pace and look around for things that interest you, be unconcerned about him striding forward as he can stop and wait for you. Instead of playing his games, find something that you like, play the games you’re interested in away from him.
Give him the chance to build that bridge that you’re always building, and clearly tell him that it’s going to be his chance to do so, and if he “forgets” and doesn’t make the effort, couples counselling might be in order.
The only way to resolve this is with you being in the right state of mind. And you're not rn. Ask him why he talked to you like that and why he's ignoring you when he knows you're suffering and what his intent was.
This reads like a choose your own adventure story. where if you stay, you are locking into for a lifetime of severe stress, lonliness while married as you can't actually be close or open, quiet heartbreak, monotonous emotional abuse, and negativity.
Or there's choice b, of not that.
You don't have to stay around and make yourself sad, to let her “achieve her dream” of a idealistic baby. You matter too.
You’re work colleagues who are in the habit of sharing meals while at work. For a while you spent a lot of time together outside of work but that has lessened now.
Maybe she realised things were uneven money wise and she couldn’t justify keeping that up. You can’t complain about that happening and also complain about it not happening anymore.
Maybe she detected that you had romantic feelings for her and felt uncomfortable with that and socialising outside of work.
Maybe she’s a social butterfly who makes friends quickly but doesn’t stay in friendships for long.
It doesn’t really matter. She clearly just wants to be friendly work colleagues. She’s already extricated you from anything else, so there’s no need for you to do anything other than be a good work colleague.
Quite frankly it took both of you to start having unprotected sex, so you are guilty of the same thing she did, sure she may have been the shittier of the two of you because she had unprotected sex with several people before you, versus you who I assume has had less unprotected sex prior to her, so yeah, tell her you're pissed, but don't be too high and mighty, again: it takes two to initiate (unprotected) sex You should both get tested, you can't force her, but you can make damn sure that you go get tested, don't have sex till you have both your results
It's totally normal to feel attracted to other people. That doesn't mean you wanna get with them. Maybe you should instead work on your self worth and look for self confirmation so you are not looking for it outside of yourself. That should help that this doesn't affect you that much anymore in the future. Also check in with your bf and see if you really get enough attention of it's lacking?
We have very similar values and interests and want the same things from life. We share very similar political views, want our children raised the same way. We don't really fight about much else, just this. If there's a disagreement we are really good at talking it out and usually resolve it. I feel that we are compatible and can really bring out the best in each other. I just seem to bring out the worst in him though too…
Thank you. Yes the only credible thing for myself is that I was honest with him and the way I was feeling. I didn't lie/blame it all on him like he did to me. But i know he feels bad for it, he told me time and time again he could kick himself for it all. It has just been a continuous mess. He is a good person deep down and one of the nicest I've came across and that's why I'm trying. Because he is decent aside from what he did. I am not perfect and I am messy, I had ADHD and I am disorganized, I'm not sure many would put up with me.
Yeah this, alot of people will react like her because the intensity of the daunting situation puts them in slight shock. That doesn't mean someone is guilty, freeze response is real.
You both have hurt each other too much, too many red flags, realistically I don’t see this relationship working out, it’s very unhealthy. His mom is the least of your problems. You’re focusing on the wrong thing.
I literally don't understand what seems to be so nude about saying a simple sentence to someone. There are so many people who are like should I X or should I ghost. And the answer is NEITHER. You should not do whatever thing you're not feeling, but also you should just have the guts to say to a person. Hey I'm not feeling this, let's end it.
Don't run away and leave someone with no closure or explanation. Just fucking say you're not into it and then move on.
Then you probably have it. That's it. Stop having sex, both of you get treated and tested after treatment, and only then start having sex once you're both clean. Otherwise, you'll just be giving it to each other back and forth.
I understand u thought immediately about therapy bc of the mental health care current evolution but honestly sometimes its best to just accept the past, grow some balls and let it all go. Most ppl have traumaric experiences and its only our decision to either let them interfer with our lives, or not. It can be a harsh mentality, maybe be seen as a form of meditation. It worked so far, only rare scenes can bring the stress back, but its normal. Its great , evolutionnary speaking, that beings have the ability to remember older threats. The issue is that it wasn't useful for me on that day bc I wasnt threatened at all. Thanks for your advice, though.
IF you do this (HUGE IF).. very seriously consider building out an in-law apartment. If she's living in the main area of the house near you, you're never having kids because you're never going to have sex. That might be slightly hyperbolic, but I lived that scenario for 1.5 years. No one wants to get down when mom is across the hall.
Tell me this? Where should the line be drawn is it 10 years older too old or is 9 or 11 or 11.5 years ? 46 and 23 is not acceptable but 73 and 53 is ok? Please make sense of this reasoning??
Problem is when people convince themselves why they are doing it is to protect the other person, it almost always protects that same person from having to address the direct fall out. Pretty nude to separate the two motivations.
Put it another way most people who withhold the details of an affair are almost never doing it for noble reasons, no matter what they convince themselves.
You don't have to do anything you are not ok with, if you feel comfortable telling him about your abuse you can and see how he reacts. If he keeps pushing get out of that relationship ASAP.
You don't have to go in great detail either, say as much or as little as you want. For example if you want to keep it vague you can say something like
“look, I like you a lot and I enjoy sex with you, but there have been certain experiences in my life that weren't great, so I have some nude limits when it comes to this. I don't want to talk about what happened rn so please don't ask about it, i only wanted you to know why I don't want to do this things and for you to understand that it has nothing to do with you “
I do. I know basic details I just wanna know some deeper stuff you know?
stalking is a crime in many states. there’s a good resource called SPARC. their IG is @followuslegally
This is one of the main reasons I would never recommend dating a single mother. Her attention and focus is and should be on the child. You are trying to start a relationship, and that is nude enough with devoting all the spare time you each have. It makes it so much harder with kids. Your feelings are perfectly valid. If you are not ready for this kind of commitment then it is perfectly reasonable to end things. Especially, if you and the child don't get along well enough. Good luck OP.
Yeah, I would move on. It's pretty clear he's not ready and even if you do manage to get him down the aisle you're likely to encounter similar issues when it comes time to discuss having a baby, which is a much larger commitment.
This is the risk when you start dating a 22-year-old. If having a family is important to you, wish him well and find someone closer to your age who is excited to settle down. Might be worth freezing your eggs if you can afford it.
Clearly not a woman.
Clearly never had to reject a pushy guy who doesn’t take no for an answer or having a bf.
Clearly should never date anyone.
It's been 3 years…. and he clearly has doubts. Tbh, even if he suddenly agrees to get engaged and gets the ring now….how would you know that he really WANTS it and doesn't just do it to not lose you?
May I ask why you stopped the SSsRI’s? Only I didn’t get on with some antidepressants but worked with my healthcare professionals to find the ones that didn’t leave me feeling in a bad place. You can do this if you have that conversation with a professional who is sympathetic to your situation. Take care and stay strong ? buddy.
She gave you an outline, she doesn’t have to go into detail. Whatever he did or said clearly caused her a lot of pain and she’s not obligated to share it. Stop taking it personally and let her tell you in her own time if she ever wants to.
If she is working that much, she should be expected to get her own transportation and possibly daycare, at least for some time so you can get a break. I mean she works 10 hours a day, 6+ days a week, at 3 times her old salary. She should be able to, and expected, to buy the things she needs. She sounds immature as she spends too much money on nails, coffee, and shopping instead of reliable transportation and daycare.
You have to put your foot down and either make her fix the issue immediately, or its' time to split. Dont let her use the kid as a bargaining chip. You might be attached to him, but he is her responsibility. She is using you at this point as a nanny, provider, and support so she can work alot and play when she isn't working. You have already gave her a place to on-line, got her kid back, and helped her to a better life. It's time for her to also do more than work while relying on you.
You will not lose everything if you lose him. It feels like that, but trust me, it isn’t like that at all. You’re 20. Your life has barely even started.
I am seriously shaking my head at how rude and dismissive some of these comments are. There are legit concerns OP has here and most people would be upset and confused by some of this guys behavior. He doesn’t have to like her but the way he has conducted himself as far as we know is not nice and deserves a little criticism. There’s is no excuse for conducting himself in this way regardless.
Instead I see you condescendingly assessing in summary a situation that you know almost nothing about in a way that would make it seem you are in the head of this guy but shows you’ve overlooked key elements that put his actions into questions and you do it in a disrespectful and dismissive way that in my opinion suggests that while you’ve concluded OP is THE problem (unrealistic and super rude)you are yourself a problem as well. I wont even go into where your response doesn’t make sense because I would be wasting my time on someone who dismissively wouldn’t read it. That’s as rude as it gets. I would recommend you don’t try to “help” anyone else because this is not helpful at all.
Sounds to me like the OP has some serious anger issues. Whenever the mom and boyfriend apologized and tried to make it up to him, he just exploded in rage. He’s part of the problem here.
On it haha. I'm sure most women are better. She was so insecure I need a strong woman not one that flocks to the next person who gives her attention.
so glad to read your edit. OP, you deserve much better. Someone nice is out there, and I wish you lots of love in the future.
Is your good friend male or female? If it's a female she wants you to take her sister because she doesn't trust your friend.
If it's a male then either she legit wants you to get to know her sister which is a terrible idea for an intimate date or it's a test which again a terrible idea.
If your friend is female take the sister and suck it up and don't fall for traps.
If the friends male then stand firm and go with him.
At the end of the day you paid for it was your plan and it's up to you.
I would really let the comment go. Don’t destroy 7 wonderful years because of a comments that a child heard. I think it really says how easily your ready to give in on this relationship over something this minor.
I agree SOMEONE here is. ?
I was about to come offer my support in the comments but reading that you yourself are a cheater and seem to be very defensive (saying stuff like ”I was not over my ex” and blah blah blah, doesn’t matter, just shows how pathetic and uncaring of a person you are), I don’t have any sympathy towards you.
”But this is different, since there is a baby!!” Nah, it’s just karma coming back to bite you in the ass and that’s what you deserve. The only person I feel bad for here is the poor child, both of you suck and in no way should a child be put in the midts of two losers like you and your gf.
Stop feeling sorry about yourself, find a spine and communicate with your gf. You guys have to actually decide if having this child is good for not only you two but the child itself.
Sounds like you and your wife are good – that is the most important thing. Tell her your sorry your comment came between her and her friend.
You didn't even reply to him. If it were me, I would assume you weren't interested if you didn't even have the decency to reply. You are the one ghosting him you absolute donut.
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100% you should give the ring back, pure definition of being a gold digger… in backwards land!
It’s your dead mothers ring… He has literally zero claim over the ring that was NEVER his. He simply gave you it back when proposing… I have no words of how bizarre this situation is which is made worse that it’s coming from a 36 year old man…
Time to cut ties to everything in every possible way relating to this arsehole and his family. Block and move on with your life.
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Your mom is the worst. That ring symbolizes an unpleasant time in your life, and it's a reminder that both family heirlooms were refashioned and gifted to your sister even though she has no immediate prospect of engagement. Like how does she justify any of that in her mind?
Definitely tell her you've reconsidered, and see if she'll still give it to you. And 100% get it appraised and sell it on-line somewhere so you can get your soon to be fiance something that actually celebrates your life together … not some ill fated hand me down after though.. the nerve of some people.
Tbh, sounds like you were better matched with your ex, and now your current fiancé just happens to be the woman you are marrying because now you’re ready to settle down. Unfortunately I have seen this trend with men. They get married to the wrong woman because they want to be married and start a family, but still pine for “the one that got away.”
Honestly? You need to let Sarah go. This isn’t me telling you to confess to Amy, but to mourn what could have been and then find someone better suited for you. This isnt me saying Sarah is a bad person, or has glaring flaws, we all have our own history. This is me saying that you both deserve to be with people you are madly in love with and that also are madly in love with you/Sarah.
Lie.
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That's what I want to do – make my excuses and not go. But as its a small gathering, and I only saw my mom yesterday, they'd know I was lying or something was up.
I'd love to ask her why she treats me the way she does, but I know she'd deny everything so I don't think I'd get anything out of confronting her either. She's a very difficult person to approach.
Yo the way I SCREAMED RN!!!!!!
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It's a long time to not know, which is fine, but you need to decide if you want to put your life on hold.
It’s not a conference or anything like that, it’s neither here nor there on whether people will respect me because there are nobody’s opinions to worry about in this case and on this trip. We, her and I, made the decision to do it in order to save money on travel.
I have it and take medication which made me tired at the start but it evened out. I have never slapped, thrown things, been any type of abusive. She needs major therapy and you don’t have to stay in an abusive relationship.
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When everything is out in the open and communication and boundaries are clear, then you make an informed decision whether or not to forgive someone and continue investing and growing in your relationship. He has trickle-truthed you just until you stopped questioning him.
I think you are wasting your next few months/years giving him the power to choose when to eventually leave you. Take back that power OP. Leave him and build the life of honesty and peace that you deserve.
She broke the rules and cheated and I personally feel like you have been set up for them to cheat with each other while you sit and watch! Neither one of them (from what you wrote) want anything to do with you during the 3some. I mean did you get off , did they actively make you a participant ? Or was it centered around them? I personally would become roommates and nothing else and I wouldn't share a bed with her. Sorry 3somes hurt when they are only for 2 and it's used to cheat and get away with it
Let her know what you want then listen to what she wants.
I don't know you enough to comment about expectations but if you are aware that your tastes are superficial then you either update/adapt taste wise or gear up to face disappointments. You need not be doomed but you may have to kiss a few frogs before you reach your superficial-bu-right-for-you princess.
That was my very first thought. The timing is VERY fishy.
That was my very first thought. The timing is VERY fishy.
That was my very first thought. The timing is VERY fishy.
The problem is a lot of things aren't objectively right or wrong – there is often more than one way to skin a cat.
Often people confuse being right with having a preference for it being done their way.
My fiancé cooks differently to me, I'm not his boss – at the end of the day we have food that tastes good.
My ex would start arguments that went in the MOST frustrating circles because they refused to accept “I don't want to” or “I don't like it” as a legitimate reason.
A doctor can absolutely help. There are ones who specialize in this because there are so many men who face this issue.
Oh, honey I’m so sorry. Firstly, you should know that is is so valid to feel violated right now. That’s what they did. They violated your privacy as an autonomous adult and they had absolutely no right to do so. No matter his worries. Secondly, you should take a good and nude look at this. He chose to take his worries to an outside party that knows no details of the situation rather than go to you, who knows all and should have been the one he went to. This is a betrayal I could not forgive, because he clearly doesn’t believe you’re mature enough to take care of your problems. Best of luck and best wishes to you OP?
Thanks for that perspective!
What does age have to do with anything here?
For real it takes two and I will never understand how the people who least want babies are the ones who make others pregnant! He made it but he can choose to be or not to be in that child's life. She could have chosen abortion but she didnt want it, and that is absolutely fair as well. Takes two to make it but you still should be able to decide. Same as if she didnt want it and he did she would have been in her right to terminate the pregnancy and he should have respected that.
Unless she lives in a place where it is illegal to abort it was her choice and I wont change my mind. If she lives in a place where an abortion is not possible because it is illegal then for sure he MUST take responsibility for it at a money level, giving her child support even if they separate I mean, but it would still be his choice if he doesnt want to parent the child or be in his life at all, same as she would have that choice (if she wants to parent or not) if he later decided he did want the children but she changed her mind.
Lots of other redditors have shared what she can do to get help as well so I do sincerely hope she can on-line this situation in a more bearable way. But yes, it takes two irresponsible people to make a baby they cant afford and one of them doesnt want to have (unless an accident happened which although rare, can absolutely occur)
Abandoning the family home will not work out well for you when the lawyers come in for the divorce. You've made your decision but it's a bad one, good luck!
I was 19 when I met him but due to a tonne of things honestly didn’t consider the age an issue. Neither would be hanging out with friends but him lying is whats made me upset and suspicious. I appreciate your advice!
Bruh, this is reddit. If she was a landlord, yes break up, everything else? Naw, it's cool, it's in the past.
Oh. This is for sure a bot. ok. Carry on.
You must be new on reddit. Redditors have some truly disgusting stories and people love to re-tell the worst ones. Headlice doesn't bother me any more
I know that’s what she told her boyfriend. I’m not a mind reader. But I do know how fantasies and kinks work. I understand a decent amount of cognitive psychology.
Yes she could sub in other people, but that’s additional work for the brain. The brain is dumb and lazy, it’s going to use what it already has before it starts changing stuff.
The brain wants actors so it can tell a story. That’s all this is. Everyone making out that she’s going to cheat on him just seems to have no understanding of how fantasies work.
start saving for the eating disorder therapy your kid is gonna need bc with a mother like your wife they will sure need it!!!
So a lot of dudes these days decide to jerk off so much their junk doesn't work with actual women. Because of too tight of grip, porn addiction, what have you. Are you SURE that these things aren't the problem? This may have nothing to do with you.
My boyfriends feed is all sports. Sports teams, sports stars, people who talk about sports, pictures of sports stadiums, sport memes. Literally the whole feed is sports.
It will completly break her, i cant do that…i don't want to hurt her… She is a nice girl and I want to be her friend
I normally just lurk on this sub but your relationship sounds so much like my younger brother and his wife that I found it quite upsetting.
You hear people say relationships should be 50/50 but I disagree, relationships should be 100/100 whenever you can give it. It's ok to dip on occasion, no one is perfect all the time, but you support each other through those times.
What is she giving? Because at the moment it sounds like about 180/20. For 5 goddamn years. That's absolute crap from a life partner. She's gonna burn you out and then move on to the next sucker.
? nice.
Buy a mini fridge and a lock.
I think the decent thing is to tell him, however, it’s ultimately your decision what you do. I just figure I would like to know if it were me
That's an issue between her and her parents though. Unless OP wants to pay the parents directly the rent, if he has a problem with how she treats her parents, then he should probably leave.
Don't settle for crumbs
LMAO. Y'all are so pressed about HER PERSONAL HAIRSTYLE PREFERENCE. She literally states this is the best she's felt about herself in a long time. If he doesn't find that sexy, he's a shitty boyfriend who loved her for her hairstyle. Who wants to be with someone THAT fucking shallow?
birds of a feather flock together. If he’s hanging out with a cheater he’s cheating too.
No condom no sex it really is that simple.
In the end I am glad you made choices to keep your sanity. You are strong and will find loyalty. Good luck.
No fr thé édit literally made me LOL. Kinda reminds me of the movie “the human centipede” Lmao
I couldn’t say. Who knows. Maybe one party being somewhat sensitive and the other being somewhat unhinged is a difficult mix to pull off in the long run.
This isn't her partner's job. She knows her DX and she's responsible for handling it and figuring out how to conduct her relationships in spite of it.
As she is right now, she is not a good partner for the OP. In fact, she seems to be diminishing him. For his own sake, he should move on.
I feel so bad for women with guys like these, and I know these ducks purposefully pick out women who are too nice and/ or with low self esteem to they can stay abusive and in power.
If a man tried did this shit to me, he'd be lucky to have working hands after a few month. I'm seething on OP's behalf
Spend some time reacquainting yourself with your father and celebrate his freedom with him and those who support him. Do this first. Then, work with your wife to come up with a plan to include her and the children in a way you both feel good about. Your wife would need to meet him first before the kids. I am assuming the children are younger than teenagers. Approach this situation as a team (you and your wife). Consider what is best for your marriage and strive for win win.
My point is, don't believe her. Seriously.
Hes offering the solution to your troubles. Accept it.
No, first big fight and he will absolutely use it against you and lash out. As unfortunate as it is, this is what people do. They will use it to hurt you in ways you never thought someone could. You see him through the lense of your current relationship, but as an adult you should know that it doesn't always work out and often times when someone gets hurt they act recklessly and lash out in the most worst way imaginable. This is something you bury away and forget about. I know I'll get a lot of disagreement and arguments about honesty but this is the reality of human nature. Please protect yourself and know that you are a good person and our past decisions don't need to define us. Please don't feel guilty or anything less then who you are today and only today.
I highly recommend getting a job. I’m not trying to judge but if you don’t have children I don’t see the need for one spouse to be a homemaker. And it’s a dangerous situation to be in as a (very) young woman with no financial independence of her own should things go bad.
It's not uncommon that some people are just ignorant and kinda stupid about things. Good thing here is he research it, learned his mistake and apologize. Going forward (if you wish) be sure to tell him that he should never guess things as important as these and that either he should learn about it or ask. Also ask him all the important things and see if his opinions and wiahes match your. If not it's better to find someone who fit you better
If you've spoken at length multiple times about this, he is very, very aware of you burning yourself out to keep everything together with no help. It's awful to think about but barring an executive dysfunction disorder, he probably just doesn't care.
Too many men will let their partners grind themselves into dust trying to keep up with 100% of the housework, administrative tasks, cooking, child and elder care because they just don't want to. I've lived with several men platonically and otherwise that knew perfectly well how to keep a clean house but magically forgot how to turn on a vacuum, wash a dish or scrub their ring of shit out of the toilet once I moved in. Some dudes just subconsciously think all that stuff is the job of whatever woman is convenient. They do it because it makes their lives easier, more relaxing and less stressful at the cost of an order of magnitude of more stress on your shoulders. A loving partner wouldn't want to burden you like that. The mental load plus slaving away alone for our families literally takes years off our lives.
You might have to start thinking about whether you still want to be trying to teach him that dirty socks go in the hamper and not a foot away on the floor for the next 50 years of your life.
1st point, he does know when I make advances. He just turns them down because he says he is stressed or tired. Which I understand and respect and we always figure out something else to do. 2nd point, I also completely understand, but he has often said he does enjoy receiving head. I’ve even made him cum many times from oral. We often talk about what gets each other off and what doesn’t. 3rd point, we do communicate as much as possible very openly. I can’t tell you if he likes me because I’m not inside his head, but all of his actions support this. He constantly asks to spend time together or set up a date night while respecting my schedule. When we do have sex we both get to enjoy safe, kink forward sex while knowing and respecting each others limits and boundaries. I am very physically attracted to him and he seems the same. We have common interests and I get along well with his family and friends, and vice versa. No one else I have dated is able to put up with my work hours without being needy or feel neglected and is into the same kinks I am, wants to spend time gaming, working on cars, and is able communicate so well. He has helped me learn to cope with my trauma while he has done the same, making me feel loved, safe, and secure.
The fact that he was willing to do this when his sister was within earshot is extra gross.
If you do decide to break up, please contact a lawyer first and explain the situation. You, being the caretaking for 10 years, might make you liable for child support if she pushes for it.
I fell out of love.
I did a few times. Seriously impressive guy. I was too neurotic for him unfortunately.
Neither of them is really interested in listening to the other's honestly valid points
He wants the full security of knowing, she sees that as immediately disavowing the trust in the relationship.
On the flip side, she sees this as a farce that won't happen, he sees that as denying him security in the relationship.
While I don't disagree that if the relationship is already built on trust and security a paternity test isn't needed, I also can't fault someone for wanting that security. Especially if they've either known someone personally or have been cheated on/in toxic relationships.
Neither is necessarily wrong, it's just a very charged topic to disagree on
You really ned to leave him.
Creep
Who he faps to is none of your business, if he is loyal.
NoooOooOoOo way in any sort of hell. Run! Runnnn!
NoooOooOoOo way in any sort of hell. Run! Runnnn!
>> him interrupting or trying to defend himself until I eventually just give in.
Your issue is that you are giving into what is essentially bullying? “I am breaking up with you. This is not up for discussion. I will not change my mind.” You want to give him reasons and allow him to speak, but he is not allowing YOU to speak, and is manipulating you into giving in and staying. Don't let him. Worry more about yourself than about him? This is a 3-month relationship with a man who is already multiple times accusing you of cheating (I don't care if he has relationship trauma, he is dealing with it on your back).
I mean, a nude sit down and saying that you’ve grown resentful that he isn’t giving as much mental energy into the relationship that you are, and frankly the ball is in his court to now deliver because you’re going to stop these small things that you do for him.
If he turns on the dishwasher when your about to go in the shower, turn it off and tell him to do it by hand as you’re about to shower. Walk at your own pace and look around for things that interest you, be unconcerned about him striding forward as he can stop and wait for you. Instead of playing his games, find something that you like, play the games you’re interested in away from him.
Give him the chance to build that bridge that you’re always building, and clearly tell him that it’s going to be his chance to do so, and if he “forgets” and doesn’t make the effort, couples counselling might be in order.
The only way to resolve this is with you being in the right state of mind. And you're not rn. Ask him why he talked to you like that and why he's ignoring you when he knows you're suffering and what his intent was.
Op. This isn't the woman for you.
This reads like a choose your own adventure story. where if you stay, you are locking into for a lifetime of severe stress, lonliness while married as you can't actually be close or open, quiet heartbreak, monotonous emotional abuse, and negativity.
Or there's choice b, of not that.
You don't have to stay around and make yourself sad, to let her “achieve her dream” of a idealistic baby. You matter too.
Really? I thought it was pretty common today to cheat.
You’re work colleagues who are in the habit of sharing meals while at work. For a while you spent a lot of time together outside of work but that has lessened now.
Maybe she realised things were uneven money wise and she couldn’t justify keeping that up. You can’t complain about that happening and also complain about it not happening anymore.
Maybe she detected that you had romantic feelings for her and felt uncomfortable with that and socialising outside of work.
Maybe she’s a social butterfly who makes friends quickly but doesn’t stay in friendships for long.
It doesn’t really matter. She clearly just wants to be friendly work colleagues. She’s already extricated you from anything else, so there’s no need for you to do anything other than be a good work colleague.
Quite frankly it took both of you to start having unprotected sex, so you are guilty of the same thing she did, sure she may have been the shittier of the two of you because she had unprotected sex with several people before you, versus you who I assume has had less unprotected sex prior to her, so yeah, tell her you're pissed, but don't be too high and mighty, again: it takes two to initiate (unprotected) sex You should both get tested, you can't force her, but you can make damn sure that you go get tested, don't have sex till you have both your results
He’s not your boyfriend. He’s barely a friend.
This is pretty shocking, you’re being used.
Hey please don’t tell your self you are being psych
It's totally normal to feel attracted to other people. That doesn't mean you wanna get with them. Maybe you should instead work on your self worth and look for self confirmation so you are not looking for it outside of yourself. That should help that this doesn't affect you that much anymore in the future. Also check in with your bf and see if you really get enough attention of it's lacking?
She’s a controlling asshole, you should dump her and draw what you want.
We have very similar values and interests and want the same things from life. We share very similar political views, want our children raised the same way. We don't really fight about much else, just this. If there's a disagreement we are really good at talking it out and usually resolve it. I feel that we are compatible and can really bring out the best in each other. I just seem to bring out the worst in him though too…
Thank you. Yes the only credible thing for myself is that I was honest with him and the way I was feeling. I didn't lie/blame it all on him like he did to me. But i know he feels bad for it, he told me time and time again he could kick himself for it all. It has just been a continuous mess. He is a good person deep down and one of the nicest I've came across and that's why I'm trying. Because he is decent aside from what he did. I am not perfect and I am messy, I had ADHD and I am disorganized, I'm not sure many would put up with me.
Yeah this, alot of people will react like her because the intensity of the daunting situation puts them in slight shock. That doesn't mean someone is guilty, freeze response is real.
You both have hurt each other too much, too many red flags, realistically I don’t see this relationship working out, it’s very unhealthy. His mom is the least of your problems. You’re focusing on the wrong thing.
Reminds me of something an acquaintance overheard at a McDonald's
Dude 1: I'm going to beat that Seven to a pulp. She's always going on and on about him.
Dude 2: Seven?
Dude 1: Some dude called 707. He's popular or something. If I ever see him, he'll see…
Dude 2: Have you seen him?
Dude 1: No, but I'm telling you…!
Dude 2: You have to see him.
(It's 707 from Mystic Messenger)
I literally don't understand what seems to be so nude about saying a simple sentence to someone. There are so many people who are like should I X or should I ghost. And the answer is NEITHER. You should not do whatever thing you're not feeling, but also you should just have the guts to say to a person. Hey I'm not feeling this, let's end it.
Don't run away and leave someone with no closure or explanation. Just fucking say you're not into it and then move on.
OP should call the police and let them know she is threatening self harm.
Okay
First, ask her what's going on, then if you don't like whatever she tells you, then dump her
I know, that’s why I am asking for advices.
I understand, and I’m working on that part of myself. I will be better.
what do you expect from a fucking wannabe cop ?
Then you probably have it. That's it. Stop having sex, both of you get treated and tested after treatment, and only then start having sex once you're both clean. Otherwise, you'll just be giving it to each other back and forth.
I understand u thought immediately about therapy bc of the mental health care current evolution but honestly sometimes its best to just accept the past, grow some balls and let it all go. Most ppl have traumaric experiences and its only our decision to either let them interfer with our lives, or not. It can be a harsh mentality, maybe be seen as a form of meditation. It worked so far, only rare scenes can bring the stress back, but its normal. Its great , evolutionnary speaking, that beings have the ability to remember older threats. The issue is that it wasn't useful for me on that day bc I wasnt threatened at all. Thanks for your advice, though.
IF you do this (HUGE IF).. very seriously consider building out an in-law apartment. If she's living in the main area of the house near you, you're never having kids because you're never going to have sex. That might be slightly hyperbolic, but I lived that scenario for 1.5 years. No one wants to get down when mom is across the hall.
I agree