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Richie, 24 y.o.
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Maybe. Shoot your shot if she's your crush!
Jesus Christ, please dump this sorry excuse for a man immediately. He is manipulate and abusive and is coercing you into sex acts against your will. This is a man who will rape you if you stay. It's not a matter of if, but when. This is not love.
Get more friends? Find a hobby where you can connect with other folks?
First of all, I’m really sorry. That was rape. Just because you guys were in a FWB situation doesn’t make it any less true or disgusting. You consented to sex with HIM, not his brother. This wasn’t about “sharing” or whatever, this was rape. I mean, you aren’t a sextoy they can just pass around, you’re a human being! I am absolutely disgusted and furious on your behalf.
If I’m being honest, there’s no going back after that. I know it’s easy to sit here and tell you to leave but…I think that’s the best option for you. Your husband clearly thinks that women are objects that can be passed around because his brother can’t get laid.
He's controlling and possessive.
If we’re hanging out with friends he always wants me to be next to him and holding his hand despite me telling him I don’t like PDA. •if I’m not next to him he will wave me over and get upset if I don’t come to him
He desires to assert ownership over you and announce to all that “you are his.” His current course of action is him attempting to isolate you from others. Given that he prefers to have you close by and occupied with him rather than anyone else and throws a tantrum if you aren't beside or touching him.
if he leaves the room for a little bit and I’m talking to someone when he returns, he’ll immediately ask me what we were talking about (he mentions that it’s because he feels like conversations don’t really happen when he’s around)
This is just another manifestation of his possessiveness and need to isolate you. He'll try to insert himself into your conversations with another person to make sure it's on a positive track in his eyes. Otherwise, he might try to squeeze as much information as possible out of you by bringing it up when the two of you are alone.
I don’t eat seafood due to childhood trauma with it and he’s always urging me to eat it
he won’t listen to me and will instead stay next to me and keep rushing me and pushing me to do it
He neither cares nor respects you, your desires, or your boundaries. He really just wants complete power and control over you, but he'll tell you he's looking out for you and your best interests by convincing you to do things you don't want to.
I can’t figure out if any of the below is normal behavior in relationships or if it’s controlling- please let me know!
HELL NAW! There is no healthy relationship that behaves like this. It's dangerous, and it's the first step in an emotionally abusive and manipulative dynamic that will only get worse as he gaslights the hell out of you. He will try to convince you that his conduct is totally healthy and that you're the toxic and manipulative one for your desiring your own life, privacy, and space.
I'm wondering if the “string of emojis” involved ? ???
I’m 30, she’s 28
Allow him to do what he want and break up.
So tell me do you get to see his bank statements every month?
This is a situation where more flags ??????does not mean more fun…sorry bro but I don't trust her at all
Has she ever brought up you meeting her family or friends?
Eh, I see both sides here…. I have done things before and asked that people don't want gifts. One time, for my son's birthday I phrased it “We think your time spent with us is enough of a gift. If you feel compelled to give, we will donate all items or money to “toys for tots””. Basically saying, gift if you want and we will take it to a good place. Interestingly enough, no one brought gifts.
When I have just said “no gifts or money needed”, a couple people ALWAYS end of bringing something and it's AWKWARD, for both myself and the other people who did not bring gifts. So, I'm with you in that sense. And I don't think it's rude to expect people to accept a boundary. Perhaps you could work on your wording to make it more palatable than “don't come”.
I also can understand the notion of “some people REALLY like to gift”. BUT, it's confusing because if I'm saying I don't want them and they are insisting because it's “what you want”, and so i need to now be okay with it, isn't that kind of messed up?
I don't know if it's a hill worth dying on. Perhaps you could work on a different way to word it that your fiancee will be more comfortable with?
One issue with the things you've presented is the bridal shower. Usually, friends or families throw these for the bride, and I'm not sure that should be something you dictate. It makes you look a little controlling.
The other thing is…. does she have any requirements for the wedding or things you are willing to compromise other than the wedding itself? The way your post is formatted comes across as though you have made this great sacrifice to have this wedding for her. So, now that you have done so, you get to call the shots. That's just the way it reads, which is probably why you are getting some of the responses against you.
Overall, I would say just enjoy it. Let go a little bit…. if you don't really care for weddings in the first place but have decided to do it because it's important for your partner, just let go. It's a small part of the rest of your lives together. In the grand scheme, it's super minor. You said you don't care about weddings, so my advice is to do exactly that….care less.
Hard block, you don't need that shit.
You could find “someone to talk to” if you quit seeing this lying cheater! Boom! Extra time for you…instantly!
Never give a cheater a second chance; they don't change. Once someone has shown you they're a liar, you can never trust them again. Without trust, you have no real relationship; it's all fantasy.
DTMFA and find someone NEW this year. Summer is coming and it's a great time to meet someone new! Do something nice for yourself — find a new partner who loves/respects you!
I hear what you’re saying and empathize with you. At this point it seems your fiancés family has accepted you. I would sit down and have a frank conversation with my fiancé and explain your family dynamics if you haven’t already. Make it clear to him that they aren’t in a financial position to fund or even contribute to the wedding and explore possibilities to keep costs down.
It’s not clear why your wonderful parents haven’t met you intended in laws. I’m from a culture where proposals are done between the families not just the couple but I understand that many Western couples have the families meet during the wedding. Could you plan for each of your parents to come down and meet your fiancés’ family?
Why don't you just buy her a new jacket and give it to her?
A little slap on the wrist and a kiss on the head, yeah that’ll stop the behavior for sure ?
you could be right- I have let him be but am still sad about it
They can and if done during penetrative sex it can be amazing for both parties but that takes alot of control and alot of practice. Many of us unfortunately usually even start kegels until we are pregnant.