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Cassy, ? and Oliver?, 19 y.o.
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Nope. Dealbreaker. If you were trying to stop her and she continued, there is no coming back.
My ex used to do this to me. It evolved into him ignoring me (in the same house) for weeks on end.
Your reactions are healthy. That’s what they should be in a healthy trusting relationship. Ask him to stop and to communicate effectively otherwise, leave.
No, she needs to do more. Tell her to cut him off completely. She has acted inappropriately, and failed to tell you about it. Tell her you have trouble trusting her on this, so want her to stop any contact with this guy. IF she tries to refuse, inform her that this isn't a joke, she has been entertaining interest from him, even if she cuts him off you will still have doubts about her. Make it clear, if she doesn't you don't know if you can go on with her.
Now, if she is willing to sabotage your marriage to defend her contact with hi, after her fuck up… this is a beginning to an affair, prepare yourself mentally for divorce and consult lawyer.