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People are responsible for their own decisions. Hopefully she does not self harm, but it isn’t your fault if she does.
Most of the advice about him is true, I just want to add that some medication make it much harder to achieve climax. My adhd meds have done this for me and I know quite a few antidepressants do as well. If you’re on these you should communicate that with him.
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Yeah because their relationship is soooo worth saving.
Technically its just fornicating if neither of them is married. Adultery is specifically having sex with someone other than your spouse.
Y'all, if this is real this girl is going to end up on the news.
In society it is generally more acceptable for men to have sex more and multiple partners unfortunately. Anyway, if you are in a monogamous relationship and he doesn't want you to have sex with anyone else, then you'll have to do. Work on spicing things up with him. Do you masturbate?
You were right, red flags abound. His initial sulking and telling you that you'd die alone when you first turned him down was the first signal. He's not a good person, he sounds incredibly manipulative.
I never told her to stop wearing makeup I suggested it once. I’m looking for suggestions to help her. I offered to buy her a treadmill after she said she wanted one and couldn’t afford it. She or I don’t want assholes like you commenting. Thank you.
This is really uncomfortable. I think a frank discussion is necessary. I think you tell him he should go get breast implants put on himself if he doesn't want to waste his money, because you made it clear you did not want this.
Also, keep in mind, a lot of people actually do prefer smaller breasts, myself included. Don't let this guy's bullshit lies make you feel it's not a thing. We out here, so they say. This cunt's just a fucking liar is all.
If you decide to stay with him after he gets over wasting his own money, be very careful of him in the future. If you believe he'd actually threaten you over this… Well, leaving would probably be smartest.
Lol we do have a great sex life. He just doesn’t eat me out.
It depends on you. People can have lapse of judgement. It was only kiss and she has stopped and immediately went to honestly inform. I believe, based on this, she does care for you and love you.
You should however ask her to go no contact with him and others like him if there are from her past. This seems like a fair request on your part.
I'm not saying limerence isn't treatable I'm saying that OP doesn't sound like she can ever forgive her husband for the emotional neglect and dishonesty that lasted two decades.
OP might have a boyfriend that’s apart of a, “If a woman has ~Mental Illnesses~ then the relationship isn’t going to be saved/fixable and then slowly temper relationship down until you’re “safe” to break up,” or gives off that temperament from how it’s written here.
It’s far fetched sounding but there are communities that popularizes that thought process.
Yes I did hear that and that’s why I was trying to figure out if this truly was strangulation or intent to. Nonetheless I’m making a plan to get safe
Sorry this is my first time making a post on Reddit and I got a notification that someone commented but I can now view it. I guess it got removed ?
… what is the site
Yeah I can't figure out, the more I think about it the more it just seems extremely fake. Like does she not see them often or does she see more than 1 a day? Unless that's literally all there is to their life
When someone is this out of their mind there's usually nothing you can do to put them “at ease”. This is insane behavior on his part. If you choose to stay with him this is only going to escalate. He is not normal.
Just remember this men are mandatory forced to pay child support EVEN when discovered the newborn is not his. This is the equivalent to paternity tests and with equality and all that, there should be no backlash as that would make women seem untrustworthy and display double standards with full hypocrisy sprinkled on.
Mandatory testing is literally the only way to stop women cheating or at the very least destroy an innocent man’s life because he was the most responsible in her mind to take care of her and the baby. Cheating is the highest form of betrayal so please spare me your double standards masqueraded as disapproval of giving your man the respect and evidence that you can be trusted.
He has no reason to doubt the paternity
Get professional help. Please
If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. THere are some things that people should just not try to persuade others on: marriage, parenthood, and anal.
Just on iron principle point I would end any conversation that starts with him whining about anal. It’s not THAT special. He doesn’t NEED it.
another I’ll informed person ??♀️
I’m older than you. When I was 30 I would never have thought about dating someone who was in a wheelchair. But now that I have known someone for 10 years who uses one. If I was able to go back in time I definitely wouldn’t rule it out.
Quit your job and move away from this guy. If you destroy what you have right now, you will forever regret it.
I'm warning you now, not to make that mistake.
I'm not trying to be rude, you are definitely not more knowledgeable if you think these things are so very naked to find because of “algorithms” unless you're on the dark web.
It seems as if he think, he can do everything because it isn't cheating. But lying is betraying just as cheating. He destroyed your trust. When is he telling the truth? He is slso teaching your children that lying is no problem and as long as you no cheat, it doesn't matter.
You are unhappy in your marriage. And he doesn't want to change. Don't stay with him just for the children. You don't do a favor to them.
You want to leave him. You post here because you want out but his “i didn't cheat, so what do you want” over all the years manipulated you, you doubt yourself. But ask yourself why cheating is actually so bad. Not because the do something with another woman/man, no, because they destroy the trust. You don't know if what they say is the truth. So the same think with lying.
This is your life. Your children will always have the father, co-parenting is a thing. But growing up with an unhappy mother and parents who fight won't do them a favor.
I wish you the best ❤️
I’m sorry you’re in this situation.
If he won’t do anything to help himself then I can appreciate why you’re feeling resentful.
I think you need to sit him down and have a serious discussion. “Babe, I love you and want you to be happy. I’m concerned though about the day to day. I really need you to be taking responsibility for your mental health and get help and be making progress or I need to reevaluate things.
He sounded genuinely sorry. And I’m torn.
And you’re not angry that he’s doing it to your friend?
Yea about not being attracted.
Maybe. He went to the hospital for trying to kill himself. Maybe it's him maybe he doesn't love me. I'm starting on-line dating either way. See what that gets me.
Why would you expect her to give up her brothers?
But not chilli?
You were on a break. You were not together. It's pretty clear this relationship has run its course, and you guys probably should have just broken up, instead of trying this two-week “break” nonsense. But it's naked to move on from someone with whom we have a lot of history and emotional entanglement, even when we know it's time, and sometimes we just need that nudge to finally push us into doing the right-but-difficult thing. So maybe this other person was the nudge, and now you can finally go your separate ways. Your body is just telling you what your mind isn't ready to accept
Oh sweety, that isn’t normal at all. You don’t have to on-line this way.
You’re genuinely autistic dude stop giving relationship advice. You’re fucking weird as fuck
Certainly seems a little late for that. If it were you I’d focus on how to prevent yourself from being caught in the collateral damage of this whole thing. He’s married. There are no positive long term prospects of your affair with him. In no universe does this end with you and him happily ever after. He was your supervisor who was in a position of power over you. He took advantage of that power to manipulate you to enter an affair with him. If I were you I would focus on formulating an exit plan. One that will do as little damage to your career as possible.
This is the most thoughtful response here. Very well put. I hope OP reads this and takes heed of what you've said
It's in the setup and the approach. Do you make it easy for her to say yes? Are you doing what you can to make sure the kids are taken care of, the chores are done, and those things didn't fall exclusively on her? Do you stimulate her with non sexual touch? Do you read the room and approach when she's relaxed and happy? Can't tell you how many times I've been doing dishes or similar and Husband comes up to hug me from behind instead of grabbing a towel and drying the damn dishes. That's my advice, don't expect to just pull your dick out at 9:30pm after she's done for the day and get upset she doesn't want to hop right on.
Whiny man child alert!! You've got the right idea, leave him. Or if you want to be nice, tell him exactly how it made you feel and that you're not sure about the relationship now. See how he reacts- if he's still a whiny baby then leave
Spot on comment…
So he was at fault but somehow turned it all on you? Honestly, this is how it starts. He’s starting to get a feel for what he can get away with. It starts small, you accept it. It slowly escalates, you keep accepting it to keep the peace. Pretty soon the relationship will be a hell scape. This would be a dealbreaker for me. I would rather be happy and safe as a single person than see what’s down the end of this path. Stay safe.