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Jack, 32 y.o.
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It's ultimately a non-issue. Making plans to meet up is certainly something that should bother you, but it didn't happen.
You can talk about it and go from there. Good luck.
He won't change, he'll always try and control you (does he know it's an issue he needs to work on? I bet not).
The same way he would accept you if you had long hair and decided to cut it short or if you had short hair and decided to grow it long.
If my partner thought I was cheating, my reaction would be complete transparency. “Here's my phone. You want my Facebook password? Wanna check my emails?”
In her place if there weren't any deleted texts I'd be on the phone with Apple proving that shit because I'd be soo offended at the accusation.
The fact that she's shutting down the ability to see what she's doing strongly suggests she's cheating.
Gut does definitely count, but this sounds more like a trauma response than anything to do with him, though you haven't mentioned a history of trauma. Is that possibly something at play? I'm just having trouble connecting clumsiness/awkwardness = fear.